When God says “No”

I had a friend once who did not believe in God. I asked him why. He said he was in a really tough place once and prayed to God but God did not answer his prayer. In his mind, that meant that God did not exist. Case closed. Really? Did you think God was a genie and if you rubbed the lantern three times your wishes would be granted? That’s not how it works.

It is difficult for us to understand that God does not always say “Yes” to our prayers, even the most fervent ones. That does not mean, however, that he won’t say “Yes” at some point. He just isn’t saying “Yes” right now. God is not tied to time the way we are. We have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. God has none of that. So if he answers your prayer in a year, it’s as if he answered it right away. A tough concept but that’s the way it is.

2 Peter 3:8  But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

Have you ever prayed for something you wanted really, really badly, only to get nothing in return? At first you were devastated, then depressed and then, perhaps even annoyed with God. Been there. And then later, after you have gotten over the fact that God did not answer your prayer, something else happened which was far better than what you originally prayed for? You know the expression, “Be careful what you wish for..” Well, be careful what you pray for. You might get it and it might turn out to be a bad idea!

Here is where trusting God comes in. When you pray, trust that however things turn out, it will be for your highest good. You might not be able to see that at first, but give it time. What happens when you pray for someone to survive an accident or a surgery and they die anyway? What about that? How is that for your good? I wish I could answer that, but truthfully, none of us can, even the wisest among us. Some things we have to accept on faith until one day we can ask the question on the other side.

I have prayed for relationships to last, for “the right one” to show up on my doorstep (not literally of course), for a job to come through, etc. Some things I got, some I had to wait for and some never worked out. And all of it was, in the end, much better for me. Try to remember that. You may not get what you want when you want it, but rather some day in the future, when the timing is perfect. Some things you may never get at all, but that could be a good thing. Trust that he knows what he’s doing when it comes to your life.

Remember when you were a child and your parents said “No”? For a few moments you were so angry you couldn’t see straight.  You might have even said “I hate you!” and meant it at the time. If you could have talked with them years later, you probably would have learned that they were doing it for your own good. Words you hated as a child but perhaps understood when you became a parent yourself.

That’s how God is with us. He knows what we need and what we want. We don’t always get what we want when we want it and sometimes never. But he always gives us what we need.

The next time your prayer is not answered, look to God and say, “I don’t understand, Lord, but I’m going to trust you on this one.” Some day you may understand. Now you just need to trust.

God bless.

God as a blanket

This morning I was allowing anxiety to creep into my peaceful soul. An issue over which I have no control was invading my space with a vengeance. Have you been there? In times like these, logic and reasoning seem to have gone out for a walk. There you sit, with an impending doom over something that may never happen. Silly, right? Yet it still happens even to people who otherwise seem to have their proverbial shit together.

As I was struggling with the war going on inside, a vision came to me. I want to wrap God around me like a blanket. He is the ultimate comforter. He is always available, 24/7. My loved ones are not. And when they are, there is only so much they can say to you that will take away the anxiety you are experiencing.  Sometimes they are in the midst of their own troubles. The will to help you is there but they cannot see past their own pressing needs.

God as a blanket. I rather like that image. It would be like wrapping yourself up in love. How wonderful would that be? I remember the day we had to put down my beloved horse, Barbie. It was a cold, rainy, miserable day. I came home and laid on the couch after taking some Nyquil to help me sleep. Then I took the feather bed comforter off our bed and wrapped myself up in it. I love the way it feels around me. It is soft and soothing and tantamount to a hug. Not just any hug, but a loving, generous mother’s hug. I still sleep with it today, even in the warmer weather. I know. Weird, right?

God is just waiting for us to call on him, for whatever reason. Be it prayer, gratitude, praise or a cry for help. When you are in the midst of strife, pain, sadness, whatever the feeling, if you need him, call on him, even just to say, “Please help me, God! I can’t do this alone. Please be with me.” Then wrap him around you like a blanket. Stay in that embrace for as long as you need. When you feel better, get up and move on, knowing he is still close by and reachable, whenever you need him. God bless.

Its not about a rabbit

My daughter-in-law was reading a story about the meaning of Easter to her two children. Her four year old son piped up and said, “That’s not a story about Easter!” He then proceeded to get a book out of his room that showed the Easter bunny, eggs and little chicks. He looked at her proudly and said, “This is a story about Easter!”

How true for many of us, regardless of age. Easter brings forth baskets filled with fake straw, colored eggs, chocolate bunnies and peeps candy.  For some people, this is one of the few Sundays they will go to church. When I was a girl my sister and I always got a new Easter outfit which included fancy socks, new shoes, a dress and sometimes a bonnet. I looked forward to the arrival under my bed from the Easter Bunny, a beautiful basket filled with goodies. Such a wonderful surprise when I woke up! Just like magic it appeared while I was sleeping. Those were the days when magic was everything.

But I digress. We always went to church. My sister and I attended Sunday School. We didn’t talk about the Easter Bunny, though. We talked about Jesus, who at a certain point in my upbringing transformed into a friend.

How many people today remember Jesus on Easter and the reason we celebrate it? How many are even thinking about him?

Jesus is my Savior who died over two thousand years ago so that I could spend eternity praising him in a place called Heaven. He suffered for all the sins of the world then and into the future. He gave up his life for us. Can you even begin to fathom that? Do you know anybody who would do that for you?

“Greater love hath no man than this, then to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15:13

Take a moment tomorrow to remember, to praise, to pray and give thanks.  God is always available, 24/7. No one else can say that.  He is the creator of all things, the power behind all things and the one to whom we owe our very lives. Raise a Hallelujah tomorrow to the King of Kings, and then take a bite out of your chocolate rabbit. You can do both. God bless.

Letting go of the goal

Before we moved to Oregon, Ruby (my horse) and I were in a great place. We were fast approaching the next level and I was super excited to be that far along. And then we moved to Oregon..

Needless to say, that changed everything for us. Ruby was now out in a pasture all day, rain or shine, with other mares. When it got cold, she had to wear a blanket, something she had never experienced before. All of these changes threw her into a tailspin and made it next to impossible to catch her.  With lots of patience, help from trainers and time, I was able to catch her fairly quickly, bring her in, work with her and take her back out to her new found friends. That process took over six months!

Enduring that was challenging, to say the least. But we persevered and soon were back into a routine of two lessons per week with me riding on my own once a week. That was fantastic! Until one day in December 2018 when due to my own negligence I came off of her while riding and broke my right foot. Six weeks no riding.

In February, just after I had reached the six week mark, I had elective but in my mind necessary surgery. Guess what that meant? Six more weeks without riding. Fortunately some really good riders at the barn volunteered to ride her as well as one of my trainers. That kept her in shape and progressing. After a few weeks I was able to spend time with her doing ground work. Not my first choice, but better than nothing.

Now for the past three weeks I have been back in the saddle, but due to three months of not riding, I feel like I am back at square one. Well, at least square 3 or 4.  I could bemoan my fate, screaming at the dark, and be miserable. To what end? Just to be miserable? That’s not fun. I needed to embrace it. I had to let go of my previous goals and accept my new journey, even though it was not where I expected or wanted to be.

I enjoy each lesson, re-learning some old ways as well as acquiring new ones. I am thrilled to be back on her back. Any time spent in the saddle is good. It’s like the expression there is no such thing as a bad day of fishing. Kind of like that. I changed my mind set from frustrated and disappointed to eager to learn and enjoying the ride, pun intended.

This is life, isn’t it? You have a goal, start out towards it and then BOOM! Life interrupts and turns your world upside down. Sometimes you get lucky and get to start the journey over again, like me. Sometimes you have to give it up altogether and choose a new goal. It’s called being adaptable, flexible, going with the flow, as they say. It isn’t easy. In some situations it can be the hardest thing you have ever done. But there it is, you have two choices. Fight against your new reality, leaving you and those around you to suffer, or embrace the changes and look to a new journey. The new one, by the way, may be far more rewarding and enriching than the old one. Think about that.

The next time life interrupts your plans, let go of your plans and go with the flow. You may be pleasantly surprised to find where you eventually land. But start off with an open heart and mind. Life isn’t about reaching your goal; it’s about the journey. Enjoy it!

God bless.

 

It’s been so long…..

My last post was November 26th, 2018. Oh my. That is a long time ago. This is why..

In early December my oldest grandson who is in the Navy came to visit us before being deployed. Too much to prepare for, so I could not write. After he left, I came down with a bad cold which lasted about eight days. I had just gotten back to the barn to ride my horse when – – I came off of her and broke my foot! Six weeks without riding. It was a clean break, no surgery required. I had to wear a boot for six weeks, plus sleep in it. About two weeks in, I learned that I also had a concussion: lightheadedness, irritability, sensitivity to bright lights, smells and sounds. In addition I had tremors. That scared me. Those symptoms went away after about a month.

We went to California for my birthday (end of January). You would think I would be ready to ride my horse again but my concussion symptoms were still around and my trainers both said “No riding!” Bummer.

In February I had surgery! It was not related to my foot and it was elective. What I did not know at the time was I had agreed to major surgery. Four hours worth! Oh, and no riding for six more weeks! We are now at the “almost five week” mark so I actually have a date (March 27th) when I can ride again. The last few weeks I have been able to go to the barn and catch my horse, groom her and even do some ground work.  My energy level is almost back to normal but not all the way yet. But I feel like I am finally in my life instead of watching it from the sidelines. Patience is not one of my virtues.

Having a birthday and an accident and then surgery made me realize how vulnerable I am. How fragile life is. How my body does not bounce back the way it did in my 30s, or 40′ or even 50’s. I am officially old now and I am painfully aware of it.

I find myself in an almost frantic attempt to live out the rest of my life as well as I possible can. To learn more about being a good Christian, (reading the bible now for the third time and have volunteered as a greeter at my church) love more, be a better wife and in general a better me. Not that it wasn’t important before, but it seems critical now.

When you are young you think (and feel) that you will live forever. When you get into your 60s and beyond, you feel differently. You know that your body is finite and will expire one day. So you want to make the most of it while you are still in it.

I listen to other people’s stories and realize how small my trials are. You tend to forget that when you are in the middle of your own desert. It helps to keep your perspective, even though your struggles have value and certainly meaning.  Try not to over inflate and stay positive. You will get through this, whatever it looks like now.

So what are my goals for this year?

Face my fears and push through them. Life is richer on the other side of fear.

Write more. I feel like I have let precious time go by without reaching out.

Grow in my faith by reading, learning and practicing His Word.

My new mantra?  LIVE BOLDLY!  It is a big challenge but one I will take on one choice at a time.

I’m back! God bless you and hope your journey feels worth it.  (It is.)

Come and see

Have you ever had a good friend say excitedly, “Hey, I have a surprise for you!” And you respond with, “What is it?” And they say, “Come and see!” And then you are taken back to your childhood when surprises were joy on steroids. Christmas morning, Easter morning and my birthday were always like that when I was growing up. Surprises for adults may not be quite as exciting but they still have the ability to stimulate our imagination and awaken our sense of wonder.

In the book of John, Chapter 1, starting with verse 35:

The following day John (the Baptist) was again standing with two of his disciples. As Jesus walked by, John looked at him and declared, “Look! There is the lamb of God!” When John’s two disciples heard this, they followed Jesus.

Jesus looked around and saw them following. “What do you want?” he asked them.

They replied, “Rabbi” (which means teacher),  “where are you staying?”

“Come and see,” he said.

Now the “surprise” was not where he was staying. It was not that interesting. It was rather what he had to say to them. They spent the entire day together. At the end of the day, the two had become followers of Jesus.

“Come and see” struck me as a ministry unto itself. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could approach those who do not believe, pique their curiosity about God, and then say when they asked for more, “come and see”? That probably would look like taking them to church with you, or a bible study, or a good movie about God. It sounds like a great way to introduce people to Christ, as most of us feel completely inadequate when it comes to talking about Him and the bible. We are. However, we are given His words when and if the time comes. Our job is to open doors. God is the closer. It is not our task to get someone to believe. It is His.

I must admit it is still uncomfortable and awkward for me to talk to non-believers about Christ. I am told to simply share what God has done for me in my life. Most stories are far more engaging than mine. Stories of people who had hit rock bottom, were hanging on by a thread and then in their last desperate attempt for help reached out to God and He answered them. He saved their lives, sometimes literally.

You will not hear that story from me. It was much less dramatic. The only interesting part was that I came to Christ through a comedian on a YouTube video. I was not unhappy, nor was I searching for anything of great meaning in my life. I am convinced that God tapped me on the shoulder that day and said “It’s time you stopped being just a believer and became my follower. Come and see what I can do in your life.” I was never the same after that, truly.

God wants all of us to be His children. He especially wants the broken ones, the pitiful, the weak, the desperate, the needy. I could go on.

Take yourself back to your childhood. Think of the best surprise you ever had growing up. Now multiply that surprise by a billion. That is what it is like following God. You will never be alone. You will never go through struggles by yourself. You will never be without someone to talk to and ask guidance from. You will always have someone who not only loves you, but cherishes you, regardless of who you are or what you have done. You will forever be either a son or daughter of the creator of the universe. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? Want to know what it’s like? Come and see.  God bless.

Be Aware

Luis Palau, a Christian Evangelist, recently spoke on the radio about our social media, techno-crazy world of 2018. Everywhere you go, you see people on their cell phones or tablets with their heads pointing down. Not only do they not see anyone else, they barely see what is around them. They are drawn to their phones like moths to a flame. Pity. Because while they are doing that, they miss seeing people who are in a great place of need. Some may be crying, some might be shivering from the cold, some are hungry and have nothing to eat and no money to buy food. You may even be walking with a friend who is in pain but who cannot get your attention. So much need and yet many of us do not see it. Why? Because our eyes are diverted elsewhere. Maybe you aren’t looking down but you are so engrossed in your own thoughts you can’t see anyone else. You look past them and continue on your path, oblivious to the world around you.

Don’t feel too bad. This is true for most of us. We are basically self-centered. That is human nature. Is it good? No. Is it common and even practiced by very kind people? Yes. Is it too late to change? Of course not. It’s called being aware of what is around you. Not only should you not be staring at your phone, you should be actively looking for someone in need, someone you could help, a fellow human being.

This means of course that you must take your attention away from yourself for awhile. You must focus on others instead of you. You may have a lot to think about. You yourself might be in need. If that is the case, wouldn’t it be nice if a stranger passed by you, looked into your eyes and simply smiled? A smile that might tell you, “It’s going to be okay.” How powerful would that be?

I am always in my head. When I am out and about, I rarely think about the strangers around me. I have enough to think about without adding on other people’s issues. But wait a minute. Isn’t that what Jesus did? Didn’t he notice others in need? And then didn’t he help them, often in miraculous ways? All for the glory of his father in Heaven? He did all those things and so much more.

The Christians among us are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. That is not just a nice metaphor, it is a directive. Continue the work. Based on the way the world is today I would say there is a desperate need for us to do just that. Is that impossible to accomplish? Does it take too much time out of our day? No, not really.

When we have disasters in the world, have you ever noticed how all the people come together to help those in need? Strangers helping strangers? A gang member helping an old lady? People of different races and backgrounds helping someone who might normally disapprove of them but who is now graciously accepting their help?

Why can’t we be that way all the time? The simple answer is we can, at least we can aim for that. But we can only control one person, us.  The next time you are walking down the street, shopping at the mall, grocery shopping, whatever, be aware of those around you. Look for a way to help someone. You will not only change their life, you will change your own. Make it a habit. Start today. Let someone’s life be better because of you. Now there is a legacy to be truly proud of. Go do it. God bless.

 

Put the basket in the water and walk away

A few years ago the pastor at our Vista Church gave a sermon on turning over our cares, worries and problems to God. He used as an analogy how Moses’ mother had to build a basket, cover the outside with tar and place her son in it. Then she took him to the river and gently put him in, knowing that she would probably never see him again. How difficult, gut-wrenching and agonizing must that have been? How she must have felt as she left him there, a helpless baby, and then walked back home? As we know, she did it to save his life.

The pastor said that we all carry around baskets filled with things that we agonize over, things over which we have no control. He said we must put them all in a basket and put the basket in the water. Then walk away, trusting that somehow everything will work out. Not because of us, but because we have turned it over to God for handling. He suggested that in reality we all carry these baskets around with us. Sometimes we put them down, walk away and then the next day, pick them up again. Yes, I do this all the time.

What brought this to mind today was a lesson in our current bible study. The book is called “Rooted” which is also the name of the course. It started years ago in Orange County, CA at Mariners Church. And now the church that my Oregon son and family attend is doing it. I joined in. It has been pretty amazing so far. (Week four out of ten.) I highly recommend taking it if it becomes available to you. I digress. Today’s lesson was on “Surrender”. I am very familiar with that term as well as it’s contextual meaning. But am I very good at it? No! It’s not an easy thing to do. It means letting go of control of people and situations over which you had no control anyway. To stop trying to fix everything, realizing that you can’t and that most things are not yours to fix. Really?  Darn.

When it comes to my loved ones it is extraordinarily challenging for me to avoid trying to ease them through difficult times, to help them solve their problems, to rescue them from life’s tough situations. But I love them! I don’t want them to suffer! Maybe they need to suffer in order to learn a valuable life lesson. Maybe God has a plan that is larger than my imagination that will help them grow, persevere and become something greater than who they currently are. Well, if you could just promise me that, God, it would be easier for me to do!

Maybe it has nothing to do with your loved ones, maybe it is something you are experiencing in your own life. But it remains beyond your control to fix it, after a certain point. And it is at that point that you worry, stress, suffer over what you can’t do. That is when most people turn to a higher power for assistance. If we could only realize that none of it is ours to handle in the first place. It all belongs to Him, if we are truly Christians. We still and always have free will. God will not interfere if we tell him we’ve got this, go away. He will go away. But if we get into trouble? Will He come back? That depends. But that is not my point today.

Put your little problems and your big problems in a beautiful basket. Put the basket down (or in the water, if keeping with the biblical analogy) and walk away, No really, walk away. Don’t look back and don’t come back late at night when no one is looking and pick it up again. Let it go. The hands into which you have given this basket are larger and mightier than you could ever imagine. Be brave and try it. God bless.

 

Are you selfish?

When I was a little girl and for several years after, the word “selfish” was  a bad word. It meant that I did not think of others but only of myself. As a dedicated Sunday School attendant, this was drummed into me on a regular basis. As soon as we stopped going to church (after moving out of the area), I slowly came around to thinking that being selfish was not such a bad thing after all.

Many years later, after my divorce, I did a 180 on the selfless scale. It was just me and my child and you better believe I was thinking of me as number one back then. It was several years until I attended church again but it was not a Christian church. It was Science of Mind (not Scientology). It had many good teachings, just not the real thing. Being selfish was not really talked about and so I continued to put myself first.

When you are on your own you tend to think of self defense. I envisioned myself on the top of a mountain, sword at my side and a shield at my chest. It was me against the world. I didn’t want to be alone but for many years, despite a handful of promising but failed relationships, I would remain alone for some time.

In 2015 I turned my life over to God at a time that was, I could say, sublime. I was happily married, had two grown sons who were happily married and grandchildren to spoil. I was retired and got to play with my horse several days a week. Life was good. No, life was great. Nothing was missing, or so I thought. Then God tapped me on the shoulder one day and said, Time to follow me, not just believe in me. And so I did and haven’t looked back since.

So did my selfish ways cease? Not entirely, although I had more people to consider then. Where did this idea for a blog subject come from? Recently I was promised something which made me excited and happy. Then I got a text asking a favor of me for the very day I was supposed to receive my favor. I was gracious in my reply but immediately went to poor me mode. It took me a while to realize I was being completely selfish and was actually made to feel smaller by someone else who was involved as I witnessed their utter and complete selflessness and generosity. I was ashamed and embarrassed at my initial reaction. Wow, I thought to myself, I am only thinking of me right now. That’s terrible! That’s unacceptable! What I forgot to add was, That’s normal! That’s called being human and falling down.

I switched gears and told myself I wouldn’t even mention the promise that appeared to be forgotten about. I changed my attitude and God changed the circumstances. Not only was that promise kept, but sooner than I had expected. Silly me. As soon as I gave it up, I got it back.

We all have our moments of “poor me.” That is completely natural. But work on putting others first, your spouse, your friends, your children, even strangers. You will be taken care of whether you worry about it or not.

I remember as a dramatic teenager telling my father that I needed to “find myself.” In his great wisdom he told me that the best way to do that was in service to others. Bingo!

Next time you find yourself not getting your way and having a pity party, try thinking about doing something nice for someone else instead. Leave the party and help a fellow being. You will not only lose your self-pity, you will feel joy. God bless.

Surrender

The sermon last Sunday was on fear. I am very familiar with it, are you? If you are the average person, fear is an unwanted guest who visits much too often. Sometimes he overstays his visit. Where does he come from and why doesn’t he go back there, permanently?

I am not saying that all fear is bad. Fear is necessary for our survival. It tells us when we must be watchful and when we must take action in order to protect ourselves or others. Fear can be a healthy tool for staying safe, or staying alive. We do not want that kind of fear to go away. Can you imagine the risks you would take if you had no fear? What might come of that could be broken bones, paralysis, even death. That kind of fear is essential for our well being.

The Pastor spoke of control and its relationship to fear. For those of us who like to control our environment, fear can be the result of the realization that some things are beyond our control. Oh dear! What do I do now? Have you ever been there? I have, many times. Try controlling your children when they are adults. Good luck with that. Even when you know with every fiber of your being that what they are doing or about to do is the dumbest and possibly the most risky thing they have ever done. The sooner you realize that you have no control over others, even your own adult children, the more peaceful your life will be, or at least should be. Interesting fact, did you realize that when we sleep we surrender all control? Never thought of it that way, did you? I hadn’t either.

Loss of control can lead to fear which can lead to anxiety. Side note – I am not speaking of the biochemical version of anxiety which requires medication. There are at least three ways we deal with anxiety: 1) Suppress it. Many turn to alcohol, drugs or food to suppress the negative or anxious parts of themselves. This is addiction which is a temporary fix at best and a lifelong, self-destructive behavior at its worst, often with dire consequences.

2) Succumb to it: In other words, give in to the fear. Don’t do the thing you want to do because of what you tell yourself or others have told you about doing it. “You’re too old.”  “You’ll never make it.” ” It’s too expensive.” “You will probably fail, ” etc. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by a belief. Your belief system will either let you go for what you want or it will keep you from it.  The Pastor said, which I love, “Everything you haven’t done is because of fear. And everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Think about that for a moment.

3) Surrender to it. You will not let fear have the last word. You do not run from it. You acknowledge its presence but do not let it influence your behavior.

Surrender your need to control everything or everyone because you are afraid of what will happen if you stop. You are letting the voice of fear drown out the voice of God who is trying to tell you that He’s got this. You can let go of your worst fears, your greatest worries, your life sabotaging anxiety, and put them all at His feet. Just say, “You take this, God. It’s too big for me to handle. It is destroying my comfort, my marriage, my life.  You will be surprised at what happens next.  Freedom, peace, joy. Let go. Surrender. God bless.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7.