It’s been so long…..

My last post was November 26th, 2018. Oh my. That is a long time ago. This is why..

In early December my oldest grandson who is in the Navy came to visit us before being deployed. Too much to prepare for, so I could not write. After he left, I came down with a bad cold which lasted about eight days. I had just gotten back to the barn to ride my horse when – – I came off of her and broke my foot! Six weeks without riding. It was a clean break, no surgery required. I had to wear a boot for six weeks, plus sleep in it. About two weeks in, I learned that I also had a concussion: lightheadedness, irritability, sensitivity to bright lights, smells and sounds. In addition I had tremors. That scared me. Those symptoms went away after about a month.

We went to California for my birthday (end of January). You would think I would be ready to ride my horse again but my concussion symptoms were still around and my trainers both said “No riding!” Bummer.

In February I had surgery! It was not related to my foot and it was elective. What I did not know at the time was I had agreed to major surgery. Four hours worth! Oh, and no riding for six more weeks! We are now at the “almost five week” mark so I actually have a date (March 27th) when I can ride again. The last few weeks I have been able to go to the barn and catch my horse, groom her and even do some ground work.  My energy level is almost back to normal but not all the way yet. But I feel like I am finally in my life instead of watching it from the sidelines. Patience is not one of my virtues.

Having a birthday and an accident and then surgery made me realize how vulnerable I am. How fragile life is. How my body does not bounce back the way it did in my 30s, or 40′ or even 50’s. I am officially old now and I am painfully aware of it.

I find myself in an almost frantic attempt to live out the rest of my life as well as I possible can. To learn more about being a good Christian, (reading the bible now for the third time and have volunteered as a greeter at my church) love more, be a better wife and in general a better me. Not that it wasn’t important before, but it seems critical now.

When you are young you think (and feel) that you will live forever. When you get into your 60s and beyond, you feel differently. You know that your body is finite and will expire one day. So you want to make the most of it while you are still in it.

I listen to other people’s stories and realize how small my trials are. You tend to forget that when you are in the middle of your own desert. It helps to keep your perspective, even though your struggles have value and certainly meaning.  Try not to over inflate and stay positive. You will get through this, whatever it looks like now.

So what are my goals for this year?

Face my fears and push through them. Life is richer on the other side of fear.

Write more. I feel like I have let precious time go by without reaching out.

Grow in my faith by reading, learning and practicing His Word.

My new mantra?  LIVE BOLDLY!  It is a big challenge but one I will take on one choice at a time.

I’m back! God bless you and hope your journey feels worth it.  (It is.)