I’m going to be sexist here for a minute. I think women, more than men, have the greater imaginations when it comes to interpreting what is going on around them. If a man runs into an old friend and the friend keeps it short then leaves abruptly, the man does not go home thinking, “Gee, Bob used to be so friendly. I wonder if I did something to offend him.” No, the man is much more practical and won’t think anything of it. He will go home and forget about the encounter immediately. He might even call the man later to ask him out to a baseball or basketball game.
Women are far more complex than that. If a woman runs into an old friend who dismisses her and leaves abruptly, she will probably run the scene over and over in her mind later, trying to figure out why the woman was so short with her. And then her imagination will fill in all the blanks!
Just recently I have been guilty of this myself. I will give you two examples. A new friend I had invited to our Vow Renewal did not answer the two emails I sent to her a few weeks before the event. And then she did not show up although she had rsvp’d. I was convinced that she was no longer a friend and that I had inadvertently done or said something to offend her. I decided to let it go and let her go. “One friend gone,” I thought to myself. Weeks later I heard from her via email. She explained why she had not answered my previous emails and why she had not been able to attend our Vow Renewal. She had perfectly legitimate reasons. My bad! My imagination was running rampant to my disadvantage.
Second example – another friend stopped contacting me for weeks. When I contacted her and she seemed dismissive, I decided she did not want to be my friend any longer. In my mind I released her and let her go, wishing her well. I heard from her yesterday as if nothing had happened! What???
I don’t know why I fall into this trap so often. Perhaps it is because I have this amazing imagination – hmm, that might be why I am a writer! I can’t even begin to tell you what this imagination of mine comes up with on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. It can be embarrassing even to me and I live with it!
Word of advice – don’t let your imagination go unbridled to ruin your day – or your life! It does happen, you know. What you imagine can ruin your relationships. This is serious stuff. Next time your imagination tries to convince you that something bad is about to happen, or that your loved one is against you, etc., look at the facts. Lay them all out and come to a conclusion. Chances are the conclusion you come to will not be in agreement with your imagination. Whew! Saved once more by logic!
Imagination can be a wonderful, beneficial tool when used constructively, like writing a book or creating anything. It can also get you into a lot of trouble when allowed to lead you astray. This happens in marriages much too often. I catch myself creating stories about my husband’s motives that are not even remotely based on truth. Bad Sarah. :((
Next time you start imagining the worst in a situation or person, look at the facts first, look at the logic, look at past events or past behaviors that are relevant. In other words, walk slowly to that conclusion, don’t leap. You could hurt yourself!