Author: Sarah Tauber

I could stop there. Think about it. I heard this line in a marginally interesting movie last night. This was my only take-away which doesn’t say much for the film. Indeed.

Older parents tell young parents to enjoy the time they have with their little ones. Soon the little ones will be big ones who leave the nest to begin lives on their own. In the blink of an eye…  Why do we say that? Because life is short. You will looking back soon enough and realizing how there is much more life behind you than in front of you. I’m there now.

What can we do about it? You have little to no control over the quantity but you definitely have a lot of control over the quality of your life.  We see that when hit in the face with reminders but how often do we really ponder it? Almost never. Who wants to be reminded that we will not be on this earth forever? Who wants to think about the time they are out of the game, no longer playing at life. It depresses most. I have a friend in her late 80s. Several years ago she told me she goes through bouts of depression about getting old. I didn’t understand very well back then, but I am gleaning it now.

I am not here to bring you down. No, quite the opposite. I am here to inspire you to be more intentional in your life. Don’t let life go by,  live your life! Putting off what brings us joy is common, but is it smart? I don’t think so. I remember something that was going around the internet years ago, written by a lady in her 90s. She was offering up advice to everyone younger than she. I can only remember a few things she said. Things like, “Don’t save the good china for special occasions. Use it now!” And “Wear that special new dress, even if just to the grocery store. Don’t leave it in the closet with the tags still on it.”  “Don’t waste your time being angry. Forgive and move on.”

I am not suggesting that you go forward with foolish plans that should be more thought out, like jumping into a marriage or a divorce or having children even though you are still one yourself. I am speaking of a conscious and responsible decision to stop putting off things you could do now because you are trying to be thrifty or practical or you just like delaying gratification. Maybe you even think you don’t deserve that special something. Yes, you do!

We all watch our lives go by before our eyes without savoring moments, without acknowledging those we love, without seeing the small but amazing miracles that go on around us, every day.

Don’t let the tough times rob you of your joy. That may sound counter-intuitive, but bear with me. There is always something to be thankful for. There is always beauty around you. There is a peace in knowing that what you are experiencing right now is temporary, that better times lie ahead. Finding the joy in pain is probably the most difficult and challenging thing you could ever do. But you need to try. God is with you through all of it, the great times and the miserable times. If nothing else, find the joy in that.

Live your life by seeing God in everything, especially in people. Make a difference in someone’s day, or better yet, life. Help a person in need. Be a safe haven for the troubled souls in your life. Make your life about doing for others and less about what you can get out of it. Your time will be gone before you know it. In a short time, this will be a long time ago. Think on it and live a good life. God bless.

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What? We have all grown up hearing the advice “Dream Big”. “Go after your dreams and don’t let anyone stop you. Reach for the skies!” There is a new Christian song out called “Dream Small.” It wasn’t until I heard the origin of the song that I understood and even became an advocate.

In the Christian world, we are supposed to go out and spread the Good News. This means that by simply accepting Christ into your life and becoming a follower, you can live with God for eternity in Heaven. Sounds like good news to me! Knowing and understanding that Christ died on the cross to erase and pay for all the sins we humans have committed or will commit.  Doing good deeds for the sake of getting to Heaven is not necessary. Earning your way there is not required. Just follow Him, obey Him. When you screw up, own it, turn things around (that’s where the word “repent” comes from), ask for forgiveness and move on. God’s grace and mercy do not give you the right to continue to practice the sinful behavior. You must turn away from it and choose better the next time. Not an impossible task.

Some Christians ( me included) believe or believed that we had to do some grand thing in order to please God. That our assignment of spreading the Good News meant mission trips, becoming a pastor, selling all of your worldly goods to travel around the world and help others. Many people do these things and most of them are amazing human beings. Do understand that not everyone who appears selfless and to be living a godly life is actually who they say they are. They are more like the Pharisees, an ancient Jewish sect in Jesus’ s time who  held strictly to the religious laws of the day but at the same time made a practice of flaunting their piety. Many prayed in the streets to show off. Needless to say, Jesus was never impressed. In fact he often challenged them. He likened them to whitewashed graves, pretty on the outside but dead on the inside. We should never brag about our selfless acts; i.e. don’t do good to look good.

Here is what is meant by dreaming small. Do a kindness for someone in need. Help a person less fortunate than yourself. Give to people who have little when you are blessed to have much. Volunteer for a project like cleaning up an elderly person’s yard or go grocery shopping for them. Make it a practice to lift others up rather than tear them down. Think less of yourself and more of someone else. Start at home. This is what marriage is supposed to be like. Waking up in the morning and thinking what can I do today to make his/her life better?  Very few of us ever think that way but give it a try. If you do it often enough, it will become a habit.

I meet with my daughter-in-law and grandkids once a week just to hang out after she gets off work. I always look forward to it. Sometimes we go to Target, sometimes a park or the mall. It really doesn’t matter to me. I just love being with all of them. Yesterday was that day. Plans were made where to meet and I was joyful in anticipation. Then a few hours before meeting I received a text from her asking if I wouldn’t mind coming over to their house instead and watching the kids while she took a nap. She gets up at 3:15 am every work day and the night before one of the kids had kept them up most of the night so she had only gotten 1 1/2 hours sleep, then worked her 8 hour shift. Of course I agreed. I would be hard pressed to turn down any request from her, I love her that much. But a small part of me was disappointed. I would miss spending time with her out and about somewhere.

I got over that and willingly met them at the house. Well, I have to tell you, I had such a wonderful time playing with the kids that when I left, my heart was overflowing. It turned out to be a very special day and one I am deeply grateful for.

Small things like helping out your daughter-in-law when she needs rest can turn into an amazing gift. Do your small helpful things with an open, joyous heart. Dream small. It will make you feel big. God bless.

 

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Shortly after becoming a Christian I was talking with someone in my Growth Group about praying. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to repeat every single prayer I have, every day. She replied with, God knows what is on your heart and in your mind. He knows your concerns, your pain, your anguish.  He knows what brings you joy and what makes you angry. God is omniscient and omnipresent. Then why do we bother to pray when we find ourselves in desperation if He already knows?

When you decide to follow Him, to accept Him into your life, the only thing He asks of you is a relationship. When we pray, we are talking to Him. We are listening for a response. We are communicating like we do with our friends and family. That is the most important request He has of us,  to keep in touch. Like your mother or father or spouse or best friend says when you go away, “Stay in touch.”

There are many people who only talk to God when they are in trouble. You know them. On an airplane that is going down; a diagnosis that is terminal;  on their death bed. These are all good reasons to reach out to God, but maybe the only time they ever do. These are Christians who think God is there only for the tough times. The rest of the year you think that you have everything under control. You are in charge and really don’t need Him. He should hear the prayers of those whose problems are much more serious. You’re fine. Until you aren’t.

It must make Him sad to only hear from you when you are in need. Kind of like that relative or friend who only calls when they want something from you. They never call to say “Hi” or “I’ve been thinking about you lately. How are you doing?” That is not a relationship. That is an acquaintance, a convenience.

God always knows what is on your heart. But he wants you to reach out to Him anyway, to show Him you’re thinking about Him. How about just to say “Thank you!” God loves gratitude. Don’t you love it when someone tells you that you make their lives better? That they appreciate you?  Of course you do. So does He.

I pray every morning but one day a week I refrain from asking Him for anything. I just thank Him for all the blessings in my life. For all the good things that happened the day or night before. For the grace He consistently bestows upon me.  You should try it some time. Just spend your day in gratitude. It will change your life.

There are days I go to pray and am so distraught over something that I can’t bring myself to enumerate all of my prayers. And that is when I say, God, you know what is on my heart. Please help these people. I put these troubled souls in your capable hands. I cannot handle it today. I need you to deal with them. And I always, always, always end with,  Thy will be done. Because ultimately, the outcome is His.

God is the best friend you will ever have. He will never let you down. That is not to say that you will get everything you ask for. But you will get everything you need for your highest good. Your plans for your life will never be as big or glorious as His plans for you. Think about that.

Stay in touch with Him, for the little things and for the big things in your life. It’s the most important relationship you will ever have. I promise. God bless.

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Do you remember those stores that sold every kind of storage container possible? I think it was called the Container Store. People who are inclined to organize love these stores. Putting things that belong in a particular category in their own special container is a great way to organize and get rid of clutter, be it in your home or office. My grandmother used to say, “There’s a place for everything and everything in its place.”  Have you ever lost your keys? Your wallet? Your cell phone? Moments of shear panic. Some people can handle it better than others. I am not in that category. Especially if it’s my cell phone. I couldn’t find it once after cleaning up the office in our new home. I had been sitting on the floor putting things I no longer needed in a pile. Guess what? My cell phone was at the bottom of the pile.

When I finished, I gathered up the stack destined for the trash and threw it away in our large trash container in the garage, completely unaware that my cell phone was included. To make matters worse, the volume was turned all the way down because it irritates my husband to hear  the myriad of sounds emanating from it,  announcing Facebook messages, texts and emails. I soon discovered my phone was missing and after much searching and panic, I thought to check the trash. Under a large stack of papers I spotted something shiny. Happy does not begin to describe the emotion.

Although I do enjoy organizing things, I am not here today to talk about the art of organizing. I am here to speak about the little boxes that exist in our lives. Several years ago I heard about this and found it both fascinating and highly significant. We all have little boxes in our lives representing the different areas peculiar to us. For example, we all have a “family” box which holds our thoughts, our beliefs and the day to day activities revolving around our own family. This may or may not include your immediate family. You might have a separate box for that, which would include a spouse or partner, children, pets, etc.

Another box might apply to your job, your finances, friends. dreams, etc. You can have as many or as few as you wish. Generally speaking, it is family, home, work and recreation. Life happens and usually there is something challenging going on in one or two of your boxes. It is said that you can cope with that without too much difficulty. The challenge comes when there is a problem in almost every box of your life. Rare, but it does happen. Let’s say work is not going well. There will be layoffs and you are unsure if you will have a job by next month. Your spouse and you are not getting along. It has been progressive and you are not sure what to do to fix it. And your mother just found out she has a terminal disease. The combination of all of these difficulties/challenges/issues can wreak havoc on your life. Understandably you become overwhelmed and closer and closer to the end of your proverbial rope. Time to reach out for help.

Most often, you only have challenges in one or two boxes, which, as I said, is doable. When it becomes more, I try to prioritize. I pray. In the really critical cases, I turn it over to God. I did just that a couple of years ago regarding three of my grandchildren who live on the East Coast. We never speak. The last time I saw them was 2016. I send them presents and cards for birthdays and Christmas but never hear back. For a brief while I was getting letters from one of them but that too has stopped. I was distressed over this situation for years. I was so troubled that my life never felt complete or satisfying. Then one day I decided I had suffered enough over something I had no control over. I gave it to God. I finally recognized they weren’t just my grandchildren but His children. It took awhile but the terrible angst I had created for myself went away. I still send cards with loving messages and gifts but I do not expect anything in return, not even a phone call. It is for God to deal with now, not me. Maybe some day things will change and maybe they won’t.

Figure out the boxes in your own life. Watch them and see where your challenges lay. Give the biggest ones, the ones you cannot control, over to the one who can handle it better than you ever could. Deal with the smaller ones as part of life. Do what you can and then move forward. Remember your priorities. Know what matters and what is the small stuff. Most of life’s problems fall into that category anyway. My father used to say, “Your biggest fears never happen.” Go with that. God bless.

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I grew up in a Christian home with both a healthy fear and a love of God. The idea of ever being angry with God never entered my young mind. You might as well become an atheist. There would be no turning back once you expressed your wrath to the one who gave you life, the one who created the universe in which you lived. Blasphemy!

I held on to those views for many years. Sure, I would get upset if something bad happened but I never crossed the line, the point of no return. I looked to more earthly culprits, anything but to point my finger at the great one. I resisted even when my first marriage was on very shaky ground while living in Iran. My world had turned upside down and misery was my daily companion. I chose to blame myself and turned to God for comfort.

Not until January of 2015 when I had to put down my horse, Barbie, did I actually feel genuine anger toward Him. I had prayed and prayed (as did several others) for her to survive. Once I knew that wasn’t going to happen, I begged God to take her rather than me having to voluntarily end her life. That would be murder. Don’t make me do that, please! Of course that is exactly what I ended up having to do. I realized a few days later that if God had answered my prayer I would have missed out on one of the most beautiful, spiritual moments of my life. My face on her face as she passed. My tears running down my cheeks onto her “cheeks”. Being with her in that moment when she made her transition. Sad, yes, of course. But a singular moment of true connection and love. I was wrong. God was right.

Now I have a reason for fervent prayer. I have been begging God again to hear my pleas and grant me what I see as the optimal result. Rather than turn everything around, rather than grant the miracle I so desire, things have gotten worse. Are you kidding me? I looked to God with disbelief. Seriously? Worse, God? I know how you always make things work out for the good of those who believe in and follow you but I am at a loss here to see what possible good could come out of this one! Maybe someone will die because of it. Maybe two will die. How is that good? Please tell me, God, because clearly I can’t see it! Sorry but I don’t feel like talking to you right now and I certainly don’t feel like praising you or thanking you. I don’t understand people who can do that in the middle of a crisis, while suffering or crying out for help to no avail.

For two days I felt this way. I continued to meet with Him in the morning but had little to say except for why, God? I cut the time short and went about my business. By the third day there was a glimmer of hope that things might get better. I felt cautious optimism but I was afraid to trust that all would be well. I had been there before only to watch things come crashing down weeks or even months later. No, I am not jumping for joy but I have gained some insight over the last 48 hours.

I spoke about it with a Christian friend of mine. Is it okay to get mad at God? Does that make him angry and want to retaliate? I pretty much knew that would not be the case, but I asked anyway. You can never have too much insight when it comes to God. First of all, I was told it is absolutely okay to be mad at God. What He wants most is a relationship with us, in the good times and even in the not so good times. A dialogue. She called it “wrestling with God”. It is talked about in the bible. Jacob wrestled with God in the book of Genesis, and it was a physical act. Jacob survived and his name was changed to Israel.

I like the image of me wrestling with God. It demonstrates a relationship. I had to go back in my memory and dig up what I know to be true about prayer. You don’t always receive answered prayer. We don’t always see the bigger picture until later, with the passage of time. Just like I did regarding my horse story. This is why it is important when we pray to always say, “Thy will, God, not mine.” He works for our greater good even when we can’t see it.

It is important to note that my prayers were for someone else’s life, not my own, which makes it harder. I have no control over someone else’s behavior. It is a painful truth we must accept or go crazy trying to fight it. In cases like these, we must turn over our worries to God. He’s in charge. We are not. All we can do is pray and ask for the best possible outcome. Sometimes we get what we want but it happens later than we had hoped for. Time is so important to us humans, but God’s timing has nothing to do with earthly time. And so we must ask for something “in God’s time”. And then the outcome may look different from our original request, but ultimately serves a better purpose. We have to learn to accept that as well.

So where does that leave me? Putting my eyes on Him and trusting that all will be as it should be. I rest in His arms when I am weary and keep Him close as I go about my day. Letting go is supremely difficult for us. A hard lesson to learn but one we must if we want peace and joy in our lives.  My prayer for you is that you learn how to find peace and joy today and every day. God bless.

 

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