When I was working, I had this image in my head that Friday nights I would step off the treadmill for the weekend and return to it Monday morning at 7:00 am. Since retiring, the image has changed. As long as I am doing the things I love, I see myself as fully participating in life. When I am forced to cease and desist due to illness, as I have been for the last seven days, the image is one of being taken out of the flow of life and made to sit on the sidelines. I don’t like the sidelines. I don’t know if you are like me in this regard but I love accomplishing, achieving and successfully stepping out of my comfort zone. Those things make me feel alive, excited and happy. Being stuck at home, either in bed or on the couch, trying to sleep, watching mind-numbing television or reading a book is okay for a day or two. After that I feel deprived.
As a very young child I was expected to take naps during the day. I remember struggling to sleep because I knew that I was missing out on something wonderful on the other side of my bedroom door. I think eventually my mother gave up on the whole nap idea as it clearly wasn’t happening. I rarely, if ever take a nap these days. I have to be very tired and already finished with what I wanted to do that day; i.e., it has to be timed just right so that I don’t feel cheated on possibilities. Is that neurotic? Probably, in some harmless way I suppose.
In my defense, my husband is worse! Although he does take occasional naps, he rarely rests. I am the opposite. I know how to rest and relax.
Mondays are typically my days at home. I try not to go anywhere. I do laundry, light housekeeping, bookkeeping and most important, re-group for the week ahead. I cherish Mondays and my time alone. I have learned that it is not only pleasant but necessary for my well being and general mood. The rest of the week I am on the go but Monday is my day without a schedule. Consequently I love that day of the week. Funny, I used to hate it when I was a working girl.
However, having seven “Mondays” in a row now is really taking a good thing to its ridiculous extreme. No thank you!
This afternoon I feel like my body has turned the corner and I am on the mend. (Fingers crossed.) I am ready to get back to living my life, riding my horse, visiting friends and participating in a soon to be book event and a trip up north.
How easy it is to take your life for granted until you are forced to sit on the sidelines. Some day I will be too old to do most of these things and then I will close my eyes to remember what it was like to have a busy, wonderful life. Until then, it’s “Wait for me ! I’ll be right there!” :))