My sister and I used to have an expression for times when the world was crashing in on us and we couldn’t catch a break. We’d say that the devil was after us with a pitchfork. I don’t know if the phrase originated with us or if it was passed down by my grandmother, who very likely would have said it. We have gotten many such gems from her. This might have been one of them.
The metaphor of a curve ball entered my mind last night as yet another potential disastrous plague was upon us (this time my husband and me). In sports there are many balls: baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, tennis balls, golf balls and basketballs. The curve ball comes from baseball and is named thus as it comes at the batter on his side rather than in a straight line. Unexpected, disconcerting, requires adjustment.
As humans we are hit by many curve balls in the course of a lifetime. Some are not too bad. We can push through them handily, no big deal. Others knock us off our foundation, rattling us beyond our comfort levels, bringing the fairness of one’s life into question.
My sister’s passing was one such curve ball that I not only did not expect but was betting on the opposite result, in this case life. We were all certain she would keep going and even get better. It was not in the cards. My husband’s recent gallstone catastrophe was another one, curve ball that is. The gallstone found its way to a bile duct, sufficiently blocking it allowing the bacteria to spread into his blood causing sepsis. Never in the many times he has had gallstones (at least 3 or 4, all of which passed on their own) did we imagine this time to be any different or to suddenly become life threatening. But it did. Curve ball.
He has been home recovering for just over a month and we are now faced with yet another of those pesky balls. A situation that could mean one of about five different things, the scariest of which being cancer. The “C” word that speaks dread into the heart of anyone who hears it, especially the patient.
After my sister passed I was on edge and out of sorts for several weeks. Weeks turned into months and I began to regain my equilibrium. I got to sail along for a few weeks until the gallstone incident. Now I have been recouping from that until we got the news last night about the new issue. I am keeping it together by telling myself that it is most likely one of the other four diagnoses. It doesn’t have to be the worst one. I am sure many of you can relate.
What is my point in telling you about my personal trials? Because we are human, living in this world of trouble, we are going to be thrown curve balls (and other such nasty objects) as long as we are breathing air. Life is not fair. Life can involve suffering, heartache, pain and any number of horrible events that touch us and pierce us to our very core. It is unavoidable. How do we cope?
I personally could not navigate this life without my family, but even more than that, without God. He is a constant companion, in the good times and especially during the bad. After my sister passed I relied on him greatly, on his comfort, on his love and on the moments of peace he would generously give to me. Invaluable. I know, beyond any questioning, that he will always be with me and will always get me through it, whatever “it” is. He never disappoints nor will he will ever let me down. He will never walk away. He is my Savior, 24/7/365. My heart breaks for anyone who does not know him, who feels alone in their pain and suffering. It doesn’t have to be that way. In absolutely every difficult time in my life he has been there for me, giving me comfort and guiding me to my next steps.
I pray that you know his peace, that you openly and often pray to him, talk to him, experience his great love for you. I hope you are in a relationship with him, because there is no one on this planet who doesn’t need him. Trust me. God bless.