Things to ponder

With 2020 coming to an end, I think we are all cheering its departure.  Corona virus, a divisive election, riots, looting, deaths from the virus but also from suicide, overdoses and yes, even murder. Divorces increased and small businesses closed their doors for the last time. A stellar year it was not. Good riddance, 2020!

With 2021 peaking through the window, I wonder how much of the ugliness and  sadness,  hatred and corruption from 2020 will continue? If I let myself fall into the trap of “what if’s”, I would go crazy, to be quickly followed by depressed.  So I made the decision recently to let it all go. Not an easy thing for a control freak like me. Things I worry about but cannot control I pray about, sometimes really, really hard. With a broken heart and tears in my eyes hard. How can a person live like this?

The key is to change your perspective. Bad things happen, all the time. Things that are beyond our human control, no matter how hard we try to make it otherwise. What we can always control is how we react to the bad stuff. (Reminder: “bad stuff” is how WE label things we don’t like. We also have control over how we label things.) Do I let these “bad” times take me down? Do I let them destroy me, or at the very least, ruin my day? Well, that’s where we have some control.

“This side of heaven” is our current world. We are here now and have to navigate our way through, until we are in that other place, that better place, that much, much better place.  (I realize you may not all agree with me about the other place and that’s fine.  No judgement here.)

How to change my perspective when all I see around me is ugly. Well, that’s just not true. All the good stuff is still there, you just can’t see it because you are focused on the bad. I don’t know where you live but there is a lot of beauty in the Pacific Northwest. I am a long time lover of trees and we have them everywhere you look.  I frequently drive this one route linking my town with another where I have many activities. It is mostly just vast, green fields bordered by magnificent evergreens. So beautiful. It takes my breath away when I pay attention to it instead of rushing through.

Spending time with my Portland son and his family. Babysitting my two grandkids up here. Time with them takes all of the bad in this world and tosses it out the window. This is important, I say to myself. This is what makes my life good and full and rich.

Being creative around my home. Making small changes that produce big results. Feeling proud of myself for the courage to make the changes. Getting new ideas for hobbies (since I have ceased horseback riding).  Being excited about the prospects.

Loving people. Starting with my husband. Putting in the effort to love him more. Loving others and helping others. A remarkable thing happened a week ago. I carry blankets in my car in case I run into any homeless people. It’s winter here and nights are in the low 30s. In a few weeks it will be even colder. I prayed that day that God would put someone in my path that I could serve. Long story short,  I came across an older homeless couple (in their 70s!) . After chasing them down in my car (I was on a mission!) I finally caught up with them and asked if they could use some blankets. The man smiled at me and said ” We have been praying for some.” I gave them the two blankets left in my car. That small gesture filled my heart to overflowing. Answered prayer. Not something to get but something to give. It’s true what they say, giving is better than receiving.

These are things I have done to take my mind off 2020 and the worry about any foreseeable continuance of same.  Focus on the beautiful that surrounds you, not the ugliness. Focus on the love in your life, not the hatred. Focus on giving to others, especially those who have greater needs. Focus on Him. The creator of all things good.

Yes, things have been pretty awful this year, and for some, devastatingly so. Search outside yourself to rediscover the good things. They do exist. You just have to look.  And then, with a grateful heart, say thank you. God bless.

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I don’t know about you but I am fed up and sad. I look at our world today, especially in America, and it is unrecognizable. What happened? I don’t wish to talk politics and I hope after you read this you still can’t tell which side I am on because right now I am fed up with both sides. You cannot believe anything you hear on the news. Much of what we hear is either straight up  lies or a very big stretch of the truth. Exaggeration, fantasy, anything that will help promote someone’s agenda. And here we are, the non-politicians, in the middle of a big mess they all created.  I’m sick of it. I want my country back!

Bad things got us here. Bad people got us here. When will it end? The agenda of the politicians is to turn us against each other so that they can control us. I don’t want to be against my neighbor. I don’t want to hate those who disagree with me about what is best for our country. I have many friends with whom I disagree, but I still love them. I don’t say they are wrong or that I am right. Their friendship is more important to me than being politically polarized. What’s wrong with us? How did we get here?

I am a Christian and I take it very seriously. I have been angry with the opposite side for too long. The fuel for that anger comes from others in leadership roles who tell me I should hate. I for one am tired of it. Unless you do me harm, I am not going to be angry with you.  Unless you try to destroy the things that I hold dear, I will not turn against you.

It’s time to wake up and see that our politicians and leaders are pitting us against one another for their gain. They don’t care about us. They only care about their power and control. We can and must stop them before our country is destroyed.

Love your enemies. A command from Jesus. He did not mean we need to feel about our enemies the way we feel about our loved ones. That would be impossible. He meant we should “love” them where love is a verb. It is action. Give to those less fortunate, help those who need your help, whether you agree or disagree with them. Listen to their story. Be empathetic. Try to understand where they are coming from. Put yourself in their shoes. That is what we are supposed to do. We are not supposed to hate them. There shouldn’t even be an “us” vs “them”. We are one people.

Are there days when I get angry at what is going on? Yes. Do I sometimes direct that anger at those I believe responsible? Yes. But I want to change that. I try to turn all of those worries, fears, anger and hatred over to God to handle. I am not in charge of this world.  (Thank God.) I can only do my small part. I can help those who need it. I can stand up for what I believe in. I can share stories with others. I can be a friend to someone who needs one. I can lend a hand. I can pray, which I do, often, that my country survives the madness, the chaos, the evil that is attacking it now. I pray that we all get back to living our lives in peace with one another. Is that too much to ask? I don’t know. But I will continue to pray. I will do my part to make it better. Will you join me? God bless.

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Yesterday my husband and I went out to look at couches. I was tired and therefore easily irritated. I can’t speak to why but he wasn’t in a great mood either.  Not the best time to look for couches or anything for that matter.  Consequently, we got into a heated discussion in the store. Voices were raised and all I could think of is  Oh great, now we’ re THAT couple.  I was imagining that after we left (Needless to say we didn’t buy anything.)  the sales staff would talk about us and what a sorry couple we were.  Feeling hot, exhausted and wanting only to be away from him, I sat quietly in the car on the ride home. Why did I marry this guy? I pondered.  I wanted us to have a fun excursion together (Yes, with Covid, going out to a store to buy a couch could be considered fun) and all we did was argue.

On the way home we passed by a church on my side of the street. I glanced at the sign out front which changed every few seconds. At the moment I looked at it I saw the words,  “Love each other.” The message annoyed me. I don’t feel like it,  I said inside my head, probably directed to God.  I pouted a while longer, wishing I had never suggested going out in the first place. If only I were home, ALONE.  My husband asked me a question and my response was “I don’t care. Whatever you want.” “Oh, still in a mood are we?” “No, I’m just trying to be accommodating.”  I lied. I was still being a brat. Eventually my husband, being the more mature one (at least this time) patted me on the knee and said “We’ll figure it out when we get home. Everything will work out just fine.” I slowly came around, reluctantly, and the rest of the evening was far better.

My point? How quickly one can turn into a petulant, selfish, whiny child when you are in the wrong frame of mind. How quickly two people who clearly care about each other can go from love to anger. And if left unchecked, that anger can prevail and then grow to be larger than your relationship. The next thing you know you are saying goodbye. Is that what you wanted? Usually the answer is a resounding “No!” But it is easy to get there. When I was going through it, I noticed my unwillingness to stop and the resistance I felt to swallowing my pride. It almost felt good to be obstinate for a while. But at what price?

I am far from a relationship expert but have a great deal of experience and can tell you that your need to be right can wreak havoc. Your pride can ruin a perfectly good friendship. Being inflexible in any relationship can lead to its demise. If you choose to be in a relationship, then you must understand from the start it is no longer about YOU; it’s about “WE”. If that realization is too difficult to accept then perhaps you are not ready for a relationship.

Sometimes I play a game with myself when I feel about to be upset with my spouse. I try to put myself in his shoes and argue his side of things. That’s an old technique I learned in college when I was studying to become a Marriage, Family, Child Therapist. It’s a great technique and almost always works in building a bridge between two people. Try it sometime. You can use it during any argument or heated discussion with a spouse,  partner, friend, co-worker or even a child that is old enough to reason.

When you are on the other side of the argument, say a prayer of thanks that this person is in your life. It’s a nice way to bring closure. God bless.

 

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you…..   

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating…

from Rudyard Kipling, “If”                                                                                                                                                                                         

 

I don’t know about you but lately I would rather not dwell on or contemplate the world. I don’t even want my mind to go outside the front door, let alone to Washington, D.C.  Am I burying my head in the sand? I don’t think so. I watch news. I read news. I discuss news. But some days I want my mind to go to other places, nicer places, happier places.  If you are old enough, you have heard the expression “It’s all gone to hell in a hand basket!” My sister says we have done just that. And here we are, crammed into the proverbial hand basket with our fellow humans, struggling for air and hungry for justice.  For peace and rescue. Today I’m going to play pretend.  I’m going, for one day, to recall better days. I’m going to bring forth memories that make me smile on the inside and the out. I’m going to think of things in my life today that bring me joy. I’m going to be calm and hopeful and I am going to seek God.

When things are falling apart around you and you have little to no control, there are many things you can do to feel better. Think of things that make you happy. When I was in High School, my drama coach told us to take an orange and write down on little pieces of paper things that made us happy then stick them on the orange with pins for a rainy day. I’m not sure what happens to an orange kept around for a long time but perhaps you could try something other than fruit. Years ago my daughter-in-law gave both me and my sister blessing jars. You write down on little pieces of paper things you are thankful for and put them in the jar. Then when you are feeling blue, pull them out one at a time and read them. I believe that’s called regaining your perspective.  When you feel like you haven’t anything to be happy about, recall what you are truly grateful for. That should make you alter your thinking and subsequently how you feel.

My husband and I have been watching different series on TV as a means to escape the regularly awful news. We just finished (I’m missing it already!)  Downton Abbey. Now I have the arduous task of finding something of equal or only slightly lesser value. How wonderful it is to get wrapped up in a story to the complete and utter oblivion of the world. It’s better than drugs!

Listening to Christian music in my car whenever I am going somewhere is also a mood booster.  That music lifts me high above the muck that surrounds me. Of course I have been a music lover all my life, thanks to my Dad.  I used to choose particular pieces knowing they would make me cry because I needed to move the inside pain to the outside. Strange, but I did that more often than listening to uplifting music. I think I was more dramatic then.

Getting lost in a good book can be wonderful. It carries you away for hours at a time and lets you forget, even for just a short while, where you are. I would recommend the Bible. It provides escape from the bad and teaches you about the Lord at the same time. Win-win!

Go outside. Go for a walk. Choose to be around animals and focus on them instead of yourself and how lost you feel.  Share time with a close friend or loved one. All are healthy ways of lifting you above your troubles.

We, as humans living in the United States, have been dealt not a double whammy but a quadruple one. It started with the pandemic followed by a senseless death that brought protestors and rioters, looting and destruction.  A war has now erupted over racism which is tearing our country apart. Last but not least we have a government (local or otherwise) that has run amuck and doesn’t appear to care about any of us. It seems to be every man for himself. You can get involved and try to make a difference. If you do, I both applaud and support you. If you don’t but you are still afraid, please know that there is an end to everything in life. Both the good times and the bad come and go. Nothing is forever except for God. He is ultimately in charge. If you’re going to choose a side, choose his. There is more peace and comfort to be found in him than in anything or anyone else in this world. God bless.

 

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Make you think of a popular song from the 60s? Maybe not, depending on your age. Regardless, unless you live in a cave, you are experiencing now what we all are – chaos in a world gone mad. It started with the Corona Virus, back at the beginning of the year. Before we could say “Rumpelstiltskin” we were all ordered to “Stay safe – stay home!”. Next, all of the businesses around us were closing. Churches were closed! Gyms were closed. Restaurants and shops were closed. Nail salons and hair salons. Movie theaters. Schools! Concerts were cancelled.  Did I mention that churches were closed?

We tried to adapt and adapt (in our own ways) we did. Stay home unless you have a medical emergency or you need food or medicine. And if you are over 65, don’t go anywhere! If you have to go out, wear a mask and keep at least six feet away from your fellow humans. If you live with others, you can be close to them, but if they go out and return, they must wash their hands and best if they change clothes immediately before touching you.

If you were unfortunate to have a loved one in the hospital or a nursing home, sorry, but you best stay away.  Even if they are dying. Too risky. So many died without family. That is beyond my comprehension.

We found our rhythm. We all got masks and dutifully did what we were told. We had no idea how long it would last. I don’t think anyone expected that we would be in the same place today, with a small amount of progress made toward normality, whatever that looks like. And yet here we are.

As if the Covid19 virus were not enough to get us out of our comfort zones, along came a terrible tragedy that rocked our world once more. A murder, but not just any murder. Those happen on a regular basis unfortunately. A black man murdered by a white police officer.  Outrage ensued all over the country. Protests erupted and then riots and looting. Businesses broken into and products stolen or damaged. Buildings burned.  Can you hear us America? We’re angry and we’re going to get even with you! You are going down, America!

And this is where we are now. A country that was divided before that is even more so today. Messages of hatred, anger, pain, revenge crying out to be heard. A nation that once brought people together was splitting them apart. The country I grew up in is no more. It is completely unrecognizable.

What is missing? Love, compassion, empathy, understanding. Truth is in short supply. Fear is hovering over us all. Self-righteousness abounds. Divisiveness is the order of the day. How do the broken pieces of our nation get back together? How do we live together in peace and harmony? How do we love our neighbor when they are screaming at us that we don’t get it? How do we get back to the days gone by? Where do we begin?

Listen.  Take a deep breath. Pray for wisdom and understanding.

What the world needs now              is                       God. 

If you chase him away, which our country has done over the last several years, then peace is impossible. Harmony can’t exist. Loving one another won’t happen. You cannot have a world that works for everyone if God is not in it.  The world abhors a vacuum. When we kicked God out, the enemy came in, seeing a perfect opportunity to destroy everything good, everything we hold dear.

Bring him back! We are truly lost without him.  Trust me on this. We cannot afford to push him out of our lives and expect our lives to work. When human beings try to live without God they inevitably fail. Humans have a way of making messes and mistakes and stepping in it and sabotaging their own happiness, not to mention what they do to others.  We need God!

Does the world need love, like the song says? Without a doubt. More than ever. But first and foremost, what the world needs is to bring God back. Then when we are truly following him, we will make the world even better than before. I pray for that like you wouldn’t believe…

God bless.

 

•  

It dawned on me yesterday why I was feeling particularly depressed about the current state of affairs. I feel and am isolated. I stood out front yesterday, several feet from my daughter-in-law who was sitting in her car, while we talked for an hour, catching up on things. She had stopped by to pick up a birthday present I had purchased for my grandson who recently turned 5. I know there are many mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships that are less than perfect. Some are downright awful. They are devoid of emotion at best or toxic at the worst end. Not the case with me and this particular daughter-in-law (or with my other one in California either. Just saying..).  I love her every bit as much as I do my son. Sometimes it feels like I show her the favoritism that my son deserves just because I actually bore and raised him. Nevertheless, she is a very special lady, not to mention a wonderful wife and mother to two of my precious grandchildren. You get the point. Being in her presence and not being able to hold her in my arms and kiss her cheeks  feels like hell to me. The inability to demonstrate even more love through hugging her pains me in a way that can only be described as misery through isolation.

I am a hugger. Not of everyone I meet, but when I feel the need to connect in a more intimate way with someone, I will hug them.  Did you know that when you embrace someone, oxytocin (known as the “cuddle hormone”) is released which makes one feel warm and cozy. No wonder I am feeling sad!  I thank God that I can at least hug my husband (which I am doing more often these days) and my cats. I said to my daughter-in-law yesterday, I can’t imagine what it would feel like if I lived alone and had no pets to cuddle. That would be more difficult to bear.  My brother-in-law is in the hospital in Chicago and has been for weeks. No, not the Corona Virus (he has been tested twice) but he is very seriously ill. His wife of almost fifty years cannot visit him. She is home alone with the dogs and can only speak to him over the phone a few minutes a day. That sounds a little uplifting but he is semi-conscious right now so she gets no feedback. I don’t know which is worse, talking to him and getting no response or not talking to him at all. I guess he probably hears her words of love and that is good for both of them. Another example of isolation.

Humans were not meant for isolation. From Medical News Today  – “Physical touch increases levels of dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that help regulate your mood as well as help your body relieve stress and anxiety.”  It is an important part of human connection. Right now, in this world of fear and separation, we long for human or even animal contact.

I pray daily that the state of our world becomes more normalized soon and that we are allowed out of our houses and are free to connect in more meaningful ways with our fellow humans. I pray that those who cannot work right now find financial relief to keep them afloat and that they soon get their old jobs back. I pray that every day, fewer and fewer people get sick or worse, die from this disease. I pray that the healthcare workers stay healthy and strong and find the beyond human strength and endurance to carry on. I pray for wisdom for our leaders and leaders throughout the world so they can make decisions for all of us that are based on humanitarian and practical motives rather than political gain.

I pray for you and your family, to stay healthy and safe during these crazy, fearful, unnerving times. May you find comfort in doing small, meaningful things and in helping others less fortunate.  Finally, may you find peace in prayer and the love that you experience as a result of it. God bless.

•  

 

A woman in the prayer room at church recently told me that she would like a more personal relationship with God.  I asked her if she prayed. She answered not very often. I then suggested that she start talking to him.  She thought about it for a minute and then agreed. Prayer does not have to be formal, I assured her. It does not have to be of a certain length or style. You do not need to use big words when you talk to him. I asked her if her father was still living and if she talked to him. She replied yes and that she does. I then told her to talk to God like she talks to her father, casually but with love and respect.

I ended our conversation by telling her that more than reading the bible, more than memorizing scripture or even more than going to church, what God wants most from us is a relationship. He wants us to talk to him! He wants to know everything we are thinking about, worried about, happy about. What our dreams are, what are fears are. And of course, that we love him. He wants us to be thankful for all that we have. This is the most important thing to him.

Do you have any friends you don’t talk to? Do you have a best friend that you avoid talking to? Of course not! We communicate regularly with our friends so that we can keep the relationship alive. And because they are our friends, we find time to talk with them. It’s a priority. This is no different than talking to God. Now here’s the thing – some people talk to him only when they want something. Do you know people like that? You see their number come up on your cell phone and you think, “Oh no. Not that one again!” We don’t want to be that one when we seek God. We don’t want him to think “Oh, they are reaching out to me only because they want something.” We don’t want to be that person.

Some of you are thinking, Yeah, but my friends talk back to me… God doesn’t.  It is definitely different than talking with a person. I’ll give you that.  But what if a loved one could not talk back to you? What if they could only hear but not respond? Would you stop talking to them?  This is where faith comes in. Know that he hears everything you say. He knows your heart.  And he often responds with answered prayer or by giving you a feeling of peace. It may be a line in a song you hear that jumps out at you. Or a bumper sticker (Yes, I have heard from him this way!). Or in something someone says to you. Or something that randomly pops into your head. You just have to listen well.

Prayer or talking to God does not have to done at a certain time every day, but it can, depending on your schedule. This particular woman goes to school. I asked her if she drove there and she said yes. “Then turn off your radio and talk to God!” She agreed she could do that.  I pray every morning before going down to breakfast. But during the day I thank him for things or I say a prayer for someone in need. Or I just say “Hi God! It’s Sarah! I love you!”

There is prayer, a petition, an earnest request, a plea for a particular result. And then there is conversation, chatting about your day, sharing your thoughts.  Then of course there is simply saying thank you. I do a combination of all three. It doesn’t matter how you talk to God, just talk to him! They say that everyone is a Christian when the plane is going down. Don’t be that person. Develop a relationship with him so that when you are in desperate need, he won’t think, who are you again? Instead he’ll say, “Oh Sarah, it’s you.. what’s wrong? What do you need?”

You nurture your earthly relationships. How about nurturing the one you have with the creator? The controller of your life? Sound like a good idea? Trust me. It is. God bless and Amen.

 

•  

Spoiler alert – I don’t have the answer. I wish I did. Since October I have been living in an unstable situation. Some days I get by just fine. Some days I am so frightened that I don’t feel real. Some days I am just worried. A foolish emotion, but I claim it occasionally.

A few days ago it was panic time. Inside I was both angry with God and questioning his existence. Can you relate? I’m certain that a lot of you can. It’s all part of being human. For me, however, the existence questioning lasted hours, not days. The anger part was equally short, but it was very real at the time.

Blasting through my mind was the big question – How do you trust God in the middle of a nightmare? When my life is sailing along it’s easy. I know you’ve got this, Lord. I’m all yours, 100%. Do with me as you wish. And by the way, I’m loving your choices right now.  Thanks for all the good stuff, both big and little. And then a bomb drops and my legs go out from under me and I find myself on my back, moaning. Why God, why? How could you allow this to happen, AGAIN?!

A few days later things changed.  I was beginning to see a light, a very, very small one, but definitely a light. I focused on the light and thanked God for it. It meant hope to me and that is all I ever want when life goes south. I want hope. I can live with that.

Today is a middle of the road day. The light is still there, albeit dim, but I can see it if I squint. Tomorrow who knows? How do we go on when our lives are unreliable, uncertain, unstable? Here’s the next big reveal – THAT’S LIFE!  You learn to cope. I know I have said this before, but my father always told me, “The only thing you can count on in this world is change. Learn to go with it and you’ll be fine.” I can deal with that most of the time, but then this happened…

Back to the nightmare. One thing God reminds me of at times like these is that he is constant. He is with me when I rage against him. He still loves me when I loudly declare he doesn’t exist. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is with us in our suffering, our deepest pain. When we are crying our eyes out, when our world has turned upside down and inside out. He is still there, telling us to take hold of his hand and squeeze as hard as we can. He will not go away.

Is that the answer? Kind of. When things in my world start shaking, I have to focus on him and remind myself that he will see me through it, whatever it is. However scary it is. However painful it is. He will be with me. Our biggest challenge is not to lose sight of that.  Get down on your knees and pray and then thank him for being in charge. Second big reveal – WE AREN’T IN CHARGE! Thank him in advance for  the plan he has for you, and then the hard part, trust that the plan is a good one.

I’ll probably get angry with God again. And then I will question his existence. He doesn’t mind. He knows I always come back to him. I hope you do too. God bless.

 

 

•  

Have you ever believed something for years and then one day doubt its authenticity? People of opposing views addressed you with a question that was worded in such a way as to make you distrust your own beliefs? And then you feel guilty for questioning, knowing that if you doubt your belief then you are not a true believer? You should be punished! At the very least, you need to ask for forgiveness. Have you ever been there?

I am reading an amazing book titled “When faith fails – finding God in the shadow of doubt,” by the pastor of our church, Dominic Done. It is not only eye opening, it is life changing.

Some wonderful quotes from the book:

Doubt presses you to reevaluate the story of your life.

We don’t believe instead of doubting; we believe while doubting.

Doubt is essentially neutral; it’s what you do with it that counts.

And I shall end with this – Just because there are things you don’t understand about God doesn’t mean that he doesn’t exist.

I’ve certainly had moments, even days of doubting my faith. I would ask God to please give me a sign that he really does exist. Sometimes I would get it and sometimes I wouldn’t. The biggest problem with Christianity is believing in something you cannot see. It’s accepting miracles (things that happen without a scientific explanation) at face value. It’s having faith when everything and everyone around you points to a reality that challenges it. How do we get there?

You may arrive at faith when nothing else in your life makes sense. When you have reached the end of your rope and there is nowhere else to go. You believe your life is so miserable and you are so desperate that you consider ending it. And then something happens. You hear a song on the radio that gives you hope. A friend invites you to church and you hear a sermon that you know was meant just for you. A stranger shows you compassion and love and initially you cannot figure out why someone would do that, and then you do.

When I became a Christian (for the second time) I felt no desperation, no misery, no longing for something to change, no longing at all. God reached out and tapped me on the shoulder. He said, “It’s time for you to follow me, child, not just believe in me.” Something like that. I was in a place in my life where everything was going well. Go figure. But when God spoke, I listened. My heart opened up and welcomed him in. I have not been the same since.

You know who doubted their beliefs? I mean seriously doubted them? Mother Teresa! I’ve heard pastors, many of them, confess to times of doubt. As it turns out we all do! It doesn’t mean that we are bad Christians. It means that we have been given an opportunity to grow in our faith. When you doubt, you can go either way. It can turn into unbelief or a stronger belief. It all depends on you.

When you doubt, take the time to pursue what is bothering you. Ask questions, do research, talk to those who know more than you do. And of course pray! But never see doubt as something to chase you away from God. It will probably bring you closer to him. God bless.

•  

I had a friend once who did not believe in God. I asked him why. He said he was in a really tough place once and prayed to God but God did not answer his prayer. In his mind, that meant that God did not exist. Case closed. Really? Did you think God was a genie and if you rubbed the lantern three times your wishes would be granted? That’s not how it works.

It is difficult for us to understand that God does not always say “Yes” to our prayers, even the most fervent ones. That does not mean, however, that he won’t say “Yes” at some point. He just isn’t saying “Yes” right now. God is not tied to time the way we are. We have seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. God has none of that. So if he answers your prayer in a year, it’s as if he answered it right away. A tough concept but that’s the way it is.

2 Peter 3:8  But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

Have you ever prayed for something you wanted really, really badly, only to get nothing in return? At first you were devastated, then depressed and then, perhaps even annoyed with God. Been there. And then later, after you have gotten over the fact that God did not answer your prayer, something else happened which was far better than what you originally prayed for? You know the expression, “Be careful what you wish for..” Well, be careful what you pray for. You might get it and it might turn out to be a bad idea!

Here is where trusting God comes in. When you pray, trust that however things turn out, it will be for your highest good. You might not be able to see that at first, but give it time. What happens when you pray for someone to survive an accident or a surgery and they die anyway? What about that? How is that for your good? I wish I could answer that, but truthfully, none of us can, even the wisest among us. Some things we have to accept on faith until one day we can ask the question on the other side.

I have prayed for relationships to last, for “the right one” to show up on my doorstep (not literally of course), for a job to come through, etc. Some things I got, some I had to wait for and some never worked out. And all of it was, in the end, much better for me. Try to remember that. You may not get what you want when you want it, but rather some day in the future, when the timing is perfect. Some things you may never get at all, but that could be a good thing. Trust that he knows what he’s doing when it comes to your life.

Remember when you were a child and your parents said “No”? For a few moments you were so angry you couldn’t see straight.  You might have even said “I hate you!” and meant it at the time. If you could have talked with them years later, you probably would have learned that they were doing it for your own good. Words you hated as a child but perhaps understood when you became a parent yourself.

That’s how God is with us. He knows what we need and what we want. We don’t always get what we want when we want it and sometimes never. But he always gives us what we need.

The next time your prayer is not answered, look to God and say, “I don’t understand, Lord, but I’m going to trust you on this one.” Some day you may understand. Now you just need to trust.

God bless.

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