Author: Sarah Tauber

When you’re angry with God…

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Years ago I was dating a man who didn’t believe in God. When I asked him why he said that at one point in his life he was suffering greatly. He prayed regularly, asking for relief, comfort, positive change. He got nothing. And so, he concluded, there is no God. Being such a strong believer, I found it hard to understand. How can you not believe in God?

If any of you are with me on Facebook, you know that last Saturday I had to put down my sweet horse, Barbie. This was my first experience in putting down any animal, let alone a horse. It was the most painful day I have had in many, many years. She had been ill since Christmas, but we initially thought it was cramps from her cycle, something which often made her so uncomfortable that she would lie down and not eat for a few days. Banamine and hand walking were what got her through it. A vet call after things did not improve showed dehydration induced impaction. Ah, thank goodness, I thought, this can be fixed. A few days later with no improvement necessitated another vet call, different vet. He looked at her gums and without blinking said, “This horse needs to go to the hospital, now!” Endotoxemia was his initial diagnosis .

During this very frightening time, I prayed a lot. I posted on FB and asked my friends to share. There were many people, some who didn’t even know her, praying for Barbie’s recovery. There was surgery, a final diagnosis of enteritis (inflammation of the small intestine), antibiotics, tubing for the refluxing she was doing every few hours, IV fluids to replace the liquids she was losing, constant surveillance, taking vitals, poking, prodding, misery.

And then I saw the possibility of no recovery. I pleaded with God that if she was not going to make it, I wanted him to take her. Please don’t make me kill my horse! I thought this was a fair compromise. How could I put down such a beautiful and young (age 12) horse who had become my perfect partner? A horse I completely trusted and who trusted me?

The prayers went unanswered, my compromise offer refused, and I had to make the terrible decision to put down a friend that I loved beyond measure. And that’s when it happened. I became angry with God. I know that everything happens for a reason. What’s the reason here? How do I benefit, long term, from doing this? And how does Barbie benefit from dying at age 12? It makes no sense to me and I am one who can handle just about anything if it makes sense. There was nothing about this that made sense.

And so I am still angry with Him. I don’t remember ever being angry with God. That may sound strange. I suppose there are people who are angry with Him a lot. I never had a reason to be, until now. I suppose this feeling will go away eventually. I think about others who have experienced life altering tragedies. It happens every day. I have been very fortunate. My life has been blessed. Both of my parents died in the hospital but my mother was 87 and my father was 69, not old by any means, but he had cancer and had been very sick for almost a year.

My precious cat, Angel, died three years ago of cancer, but she was 15 and she died in my lap. I didn’t have to put her down. I have had many struggles, times of misery (read my memoir “For Dear Life”), but never before have I been angry with God.

I believe it is quite natural to occasionally rage against your situation, blaming God for not giving you an answer to the big question “Why?” Some of us can figure out the why down the road, when the big picture is visible. Others, may never figure it out.

When my children are going through tough times, and both of them have faced serious challenges, I say to them, “This is not your life. This is only a chapter. Things will change. They always do. You will survive this.” And then I write in my blogs and books that when things happen that we label “bad”, it is because we are looking though a keyhole and can only see a small part of the picture. With time, the keyhole gets bigger and bigger and then the door opens and you see it all. Only then do you get to understand. Why can’t I take my own advice?

Because I am in the middle of it. The tough time belongs to me. Next time you are angry with God, don’t beat yourself up. He can take it. And with a little time, you will soften and find your place in the universe again. Then you will look up and say, “I forgive you, God. Help me move on.”

This is Life. It’s what you signed up for. There will be good stuff, bad stuff, great stuff and terrible stuff. To be alive means you agree to all of it. Learning to deal with the hard times will make you stronger. It’s the only way you will ever grow.

I think I feel a little better now. :))

 

“It’s a great life if you don’t weaken!”

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

This was a saying I heard from my maternal grandmother when I was growing up. She said it often. I never got the nuances of its meaning until years later as an adult when I went through some pretty tough times. And then her voice would ring loud and clear in my ear and I would smile. Yes, Mina. You were right. Life is not for the faint of heart.

As most of you know, my beloved horse, Barbie, has been sick since Christmas Day and in the hospital since New Year’s Day. Yes, holidays and weekends – worst possible time for anyone or any animal, especially horses, to get sick. She was operated on last Sunday where they discovered she had enteritis. In common language, this is an inflammation of the small intestine. All they could do was to “milk” it, or massage it, getting out anything that was blocking the pathway. The surgery lasted an hour. I waited there most of the day, along with Barbie’s previous owner who is also my trainer. She loves this horse every bit as much as I do. She went through Barbie’s major colic surgery about six years ago.

After an hour in recovery, she walked back to her isolation stall, a distance of maybe 500 feet. We were amazed to see this girl walking and very steadily I might add. As she cleared the building she looked straight over to where we were standing as if to say, “Are you still here?” We were told to be quiet so as not to startle what might be an unsteady horse. About ten minutes after she was back in her stall, we were allowed to see her. Half-way down the path to her she must have seen us as she started to whiny – twice – I guess once for each one of us. She sounded funny because she still had the nasal tube down her throat but was definitely acknowledging that she heard us and was glad that she was not alone. The Vet said many horses need that comfort after awakening from anesthesia.

It was a long day and although the subsequent days have been much shorter, I find myself exhausted by the time I return home after my visit. I call every morning at 9:30 (after the doctor has finished rounds) to check on her progress. As I dial the number to the hospital I can feel the anxiety build. Although she is progressing very well, I am still afraid of what I might hear.

Today the thought struck me, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken!”  I had almost forgotten. In times of stress it serves me well to remember this piece of wisdom from my grandmother. Sometimes life can be hard. It can really mess with your equilibrium. You go from an involved participant, active and accomplishing your daily tasks to all but shut down. Nothing gets done except what is critical for your survival and sometimes even that suffers. You have to keep reminding yourself that you can do this. You can handle it. Don’t give into the negative thoughts surrounding your head, looking for a place to enter and destroy the pieces of hope and optimism floating inside. Be strong. Believe you will get through this, because you will.

As things get better with my horse, I find room in my day to get little things accomplished – go to the dry cleaner, pick up cat food for the sanctuary, buy that belated birthday card for my brother-in-law, check out a new place for a pedicure. Wow! That was a lot! Yesterday I could only do one thing – go to the hospital to see my girl. Life is slowly resuming. Days are almost feeling normal again.

I forgot to mention in my last blog that in addition to being kind to yourself and focusing on what demands your attention, ESCAPE! When possible, dive into a good book, go to the movies, watch mindless television. Give yourself permission to stop worrying for short periods of time. It will allow your body’s reserves to build up for whatever comes next.

You are strong. You were made with the ability to handle whatever comes your way. Trust your inner warrior.  And then frolic  in the playground on the other side until it’s time to get serious again, to be a responsible adult. Everything that you left undone will still be waiting for you when you are ready to handle it.

It’s a great life if you don’t weaken. Indeed.  Now I think I’m going to lie on the couch and watch “Rehab Addict”. :))

 

When life takes a turn…

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

I am late in writing this. Not later than some other times, but late for my usual deadline. Since Christmas Day my horse has been sick, and last night we had to put her in the hospital. As of this morning she is improving slowly but definitely not out of the woods yet.

She is a brave girl indeed. Last night, in an outdoor stall, in 46 degree weather, she stood for an hour as three different doctors poked and prodded her, just shy of humiliation. They started a catheter through which they initially took blood for a CBC plus other tests. They tubed her (a very long plastic tube is put through her nose and pushed until it reaches the stomach.) She then refluxed (a term like throwing up for horses but it comes out of the nose – they can’t throw up) five gallons of fluid that had been sitting on her stomach. (I know, TMI – sorry). Her heart rate was elevated to the danger level and her kidney levels were dangerously high. This was due to dehydration. Her initial diagnosis was endotoxemia which was explained to me as bad bacteria taking over the good bacteria in her gut. It can range from serious but treatable to death, in some cases.

She had an ultrasound (twice – once last night and once this morning), something called a “belly tap”, also twice, temp taken and x-rays. (Do I hear “ka-ching”?)  For the ultrasound they poured cold rubbing alcohol on her side and underbelly. Remember I said it was 46 degrees? She stood there, like the strong mare she is and let the doctors do their bidding. She had been through something similar many years ago in conjunction with colic surgery. This girl was no novice. I was filled with admiration for her, nevertheless.  She gave no one a hard time but stood there like a good soldier. I think she knew they were trying to help her. But it still broke my heart.

When we left the hospital last night, (We were there from 5:45- 8:15) we were told she would get IV fluids all night to combat the dehydration. Things could go in any direction. They would call me with any big changes. Thankfully I got no phone calls. This morning I was told she was on the path to recovery. I went to see her (picture below). I told her a horse story and played music for her on my phone. She liked the music.

The reason I am talking about this is to remind you what it’s like when life happens in the middle of your plans. Suddenly, nothing else is important or relevant. Things that would normally call for your attention are falling on deaf ears. You push everything aside (except for eating and sleeping) to concentrate on the issue at hand. I know you have all experienced this, but I had forgotten until it happened to me last night. First time in a long time.

Friends pop out of the woodwork to help you. (Barn people are like that; horse people in general) I am humbled and so very grateful for the help and prayers we have gotten so far. It warms my heart. It was dark at the barn last night. The Vet was leaving. It was just me and my husband and the horses. We had to find a way to get her to the hospital. (I don’t have a trailer.) My trainer, who has a trailer, was out of town. One of my friends from the barn called me (when she found out) and said, “Give me a few minutes to change my clothes. I’ll be right there. We will get her to the hospital.” I don’t even know her that well. How amazing is that? Wonderful people surround me.

When life trips you up, step back. Do what has to be done. Place all of your focus where it needs to be. Be extra kind to yourself. Don’t forget to eat and get rest and/or sleep whenever possible. Say your prayers and ask others for theirs. Trust that all will be well. And if it isn’t, trust that you will survive.

My wish for you is a Happy New Year, filled with only bumps in the road, and few, if any, boulders. :))

p.s.  What she has on her mouth is to keep her from pushing out the tubing that remains in her nose, as well as to keep her from eating anything.

Barbie at the hospital

 

 

 

The Blessings Jar

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Yesterday was Christmas, a time for families and friends to get together and celebrate, in many different ways. Some people were joyous and full of love while others were sad and filled with memories of loss or pain. And then there were others who simply expressed “bah humbug!”. December is my all time favorite month. I love the chill in the air at night and the excitement I feel as each day brings us closer to Christmas. I have been this way most of my life. If you read my memoir, “For Dear Life”, you will remember the time I visited the nativity scene across the street from our house in Pennsylvania at the age of nine. It was a pivotal moment and I suppose it instilled in me the love I have for this time of year.

I received a unique and very special present yesterday from my daughter-in-law. As a matter of fact, she knows me and my sister so well that she gave the same gift to both of us and had us open them at the same time. It was a Blessings Jar. I have never heard of nor seen anything like it. It reminded me of when I was in high school and the drama club I belonged to used to take oranges and pin small notes to them saying things that made them happy. It was an undertaking I considered pretty cool back then. If you ever had a bad day, you would pull out one of the pins, read the note and smile.

Filling the Blessings Jar takes it one step further and creates a more spiritual experience. Write on one of the small cards provided something that you are grateful for, a blessing in your life at present. This should not be difficult to do. It can be something as basic as “I am blessed because I am alive”. Feeling blessed doesn’t mean that your life is perfect. It focuses on the state of your life right now and the gratitude you experience for all of it – the “good” and the “not so good”. It means accepting where you are in your life, knowing that it will change and being okay with that. It is knowing that you are right where you are supposed to be, the place that comes before the next place where you will be. (Does that make sense?)

Back to the Blessings Jar. You fill out all of the cards and then add to them as you think of other things you feel grateful for. When you are having an off day, a day less than joyous, pull out a few of the cards in the jar and read them. Think about them, experience the richness of your blessings, be thankful for them. More blessings will come. All you need is an open heart to receive them. The inherent magic in blessings is that they multiply, once acknowledged and appreciated.

Think about creating your own Blessings Jar, or Blessings Box or a Blessings Bowl – be creative. There are beautiful gift boxes at places like Michael’s or Home Goods, Marshall’s, etc. Buy one or make one. Then fill it up with the blessings in your life.  Watch them grow and change your life in ways you can’t even imagine.   :))

Blessings Jar

 

It’s all good.

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

This is the time of year when we are all filled with love and good cheer.  Everything is wonderful because it is a magical season. Not exactly. This is my favorite time of year as I’m sure it is for many of you. However, life still happens . I’m not speaking about tragedies, which for some unknown reason seem to come in higher numbers during this time of year. I’m talking about things that fall into your path as you navigate through your days. Unexpected, uninvited, unwanted things. They happen to all of us. No one is immune. That’s how we are all the same. We’re different in how we respond to these events when they occur.  How do you respond ?

One of my favorite sayings, and  I honestly don’t remember where I first heard it, is “It’s all good!” This is a wonderful way of affirming that no matter what the situation is, all will be well, just give it some time. When I say it aloud, it actually makes me feel better. It reminds my brain that this is merely a blip on the radar of my life and it, too, shall pass. You really should try it. It will change your outlook.

Does saying “It’s all good” make the bad stuff disappear as if it never happened? No! The “bad stuff” (which we have judged as “bad” – things are not intrinsically bad or good. We call them that.) still exists. It’s standing in front of your face, like a bully. “See what I’m doing to you right now? What do you think of that? I might even get worse!” Yes, these things, these events, do not magically go away when you proclaim that all is well. The change that occurs is inside of you. Your attitude shifts. You’re not so invested in the “bad” any longer. It has lost its power over you.

It’s a little like riding a horse (did you know I would go there?). A horse will often act out hoping you will become either intimidated by them or so frustrated that you give up and get off their back. If you ignore their attempt to frazzle you, they’ll soon realize that they haven’t got the power and will give up. Children are very similar. Parents out there know exactly what I’m talking about.

Saying “It’s all good” doesn’t mean you are ignoring the fact that something just pushed you off your path. You acknowledge it but don’t give it any power over you. You deal with it, calmly if possible, and move on. It doesn’t ruin your day or more importantly, your life.

The world is not against you. If anyone is truly against you it has to be YOU. Ignore the small, inconvenient troubles that get in your way. They’re not worth  your time. The bigger things that happen are opportunities to learn and  grow. Remember how I said in one of my earlier blogs that we never grow when things are going smoothly? It’s true. You only grow, stretch yourself and learn when you’re faced with challenges. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the lesson and the bigger the growth. That’s how it works.

Know in your heart that all is well, even when it isn’t. You just can’t see the big picture yet. And until you can, remind yourself daily (or more often if necessary) that “It’s all good.” Because it is, really. Trust me. :))

 

Aging gracefully? Bah Humbug!

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

When I think of the expression “aging gracefully” I imagine someone who has allowed Father Time to do its bidding with them. They do not fight it nor resist it. They accept it, just as they accept the sun coming up in the morning or the stars twinkling in the sky at night. They make no alterations to their bodies – i.e., let the grey shine through! Let the wrinkles shout out to the world I have lived a good long life! Gravity? Who cares? They simply make adjustments for the changes their bodies have undergone as a result of getting older. I say “Bravo!” to these people. I believe they truly are “aging gracefully”. More power to them. Is that me? Heck no! Vanity is my middle name!

The idea for this topic came straight out of my new book, “The story she had to tell”. The main character, Madeleine, is thinking about aging and is not very happy with what it has done to her looks. She is 85. What’s interesting is that her ghost writer, Heidi, is in her 60’s and feels exactly the same way. Aging is like a dirty trick played on us when we’re not looking.

Madeleine’s philosophy for dealing with it is to “rise above”.  Go higher in your consciousness to a level where physical appearances have no importance, no real value. Who you are on the inside is what matters. We have all heard that one, right? But tell that to advertisers who have products to sell. They are telling us that our appearance is of utmost importance and we must do everything we can to stay beautiful, once we have reached that highly valued status.

What is my philosophy on aging? I don’t mind becoming wiser. I don’t mind the realizations that come with age, like discovering that the small stuff really doesn’t matter. All the changes in my mind seem to be positive. They have, after all, allowed me to write from a much better perspective than say 20 or 30 and certainly 40 years ago. Those are positives to my aging self.

Now we come to the physical. Do I dye my hair to hide the grey? Yes! Do I have minor (and I’m talking MINOR) things done to my face to impede the march of time? Of course! Do I work out and watch my diet so that my body stays slim and in good shape? Absolutely!

And then there are men, who seem to improve with age. Their faces reflect their wisdom, their trials in life. Their grey hair makes them look distinguished and sophisticated. Boo-hoo! Not fair, right? Well, it is what it is, ladies. Nothing we can do about it – except – we can use all the tricks and treatments out there that our wallets will permit to distract Father Time and send him to our neighbor’s house.

Getting older is a good thing. It beats the alternative. Realize that your real beauty is on the inside. Take a lesson from the women out there who are “aging gracefully”.  “Rise above” it all. You’re better than this. And then make an appointment with your hairdresser to get your hair colored. Vanity can be a good thing, can’t it?  :))

The importance of vision

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Last week I went to the eye doctor for my annual eye exam and contact lens fitting. My eyes have not changed in the last three years! Yay! But that’s not what I mean by ‘The importance of vision.’

I’m sure that at least once in your life you were told to close your eyes and imagine….. Remember what that experience felt like? Was it difficult or easy for you? For some people, visualizing is challenging. It’s not the way their mind works. I never had a problem with it. Visualization is a definite asset when it comes to anything competitive. I have heard that if you are about to compete, in anything, first visualize yourself performing perfectly, even winning. The power inherent in visualization is undeniable.

If you are suffering from an illness, close your eyes and visualize that area of your body, or your entire body, in a white or healing green light. Do you remember hearing the story a long time ago about the young boy who had an inoperable brain tumor? Every day he visualized it outside of his  body and then he imagined lasers shooting at it until it was reduced to nothing. Guess what? After doing this every day for months, he was told at his next doctor visit that the tumor had disappeared! You can decide for yourself what happened here. I tend to believe that visualization (and of course prayer) took his tumor away.

But what if you have trouble visualizing? Then use your V I S I O N.  Look inward and claim that all is well. Imagine that you are healed; imagine that you have won the race; imagine yourself successful. This you accomplish with your inner voice and affirming these things to be true. Try to imagine what it would feel like if they were. Walk around one day imagining that all the good you desire is already yours. Believe it. See what happens.

My caveat – there are no guarantees in life, ever. Know that up front. You may not be successful in curing yourself from a serious illness or winning the Nobel Peace Prize. These are tools for your use. They are not magic tricks.

Having a vision for yourself means an outcome, a goal to be achieved. Successful people do not go through life hoping things will work out. They don’t sit back and wait for the good things in life to come to them. No! They figure out the steps that need to be taken and they start taking them – one step at a time. Looking at the end result and wishing you could be there is fruitless. Seeing how far it is to get there is overwhelming. Just take the first step. That brings you one step closer to your goal, until you take the next step, and so on.

So, we have vision – aka eyesight. We have visualization – closing your eyes and seeing yourself as the winner, the healed, the success at whatever it is you want.  Then you have the visionary – someone who can see a better future for himself/herself and goes after it, taking one step at a time.

Whatever works for you: envisioning, visualization, using your inward eyes or your inner voice. Create a “picture” of how you want your life to be. Affirm it with words. Say it aloud. Make the commitment. Find out the necessary steps to get there. And then put one foot in front of the other.

I have gotten through the scariest times in my life by taking baby steps. You have the power within you. You were born with it. Use it to create the life you have always dreamed of. Transformation is the child of vision. Start now!

 

Family + Holidays = Stress!

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

I love this time of year as many of you do. However, it seems to bring some additional stress into our lives at the same time. ‘But you’re retired!’ you say. ‘You shouldn’t be feeling stress!’  Point taken. But even retired folks can feel it. Of course we can! Why? Because we, too, like our gainfully employed friends, impose deadlines on ourselves. That’s it! The stress comes from deadlines being imposed by the stressee!  Isn’t that counter intuitive?

It’s almost the end of November and I have done zero Christmas shopping. I suppose there are others who will be saying the same thing  on December 20th. I’m not that bad. But I am definitely feeling a little stressed right now knowing that I have so many presents to buy before Christmas. December 25th is not a deadline I imposed on myself. It’s a non-negotiable date we all have to live with, every year.

I know people who only have to buy a few gifts. (My husband would be one of those lucky people). I do all of the Christmas shopping for our family. He only has to buy for me!  The self-imposed stress for me actually starts right there – I am the Christmas shopper. If I am remembering correctly, I have 19 people to buy for, 7 are children. Three of those children live on the East Coast so I have to buy, wrap and ship those by mid-December to be safe. Another deadline.

Usually by now I have ideas for all of these people. Not this year. I lost two weeks recently due to illness. I didn’t care about Christmas or presents or anything for that matter during those two weeks. I just wanted to feel better. That put me behind, on everything!

I asked myself today what I could share with you that might help with your holiday stress.  Here are a few things that I came up with.  1) Take ten minutes (or more if you can)  once a day and relax. Take a bath, read a magazine or a book that takes you far away, bake something, go for a walk, play with your cat, throw a Frisbee at the park to your dog. Ten minutes, in the middle of your stress, i.e., ESCAPE!   2) Not many of us qualify for this one, but if you own a horse, spend time with it – riding or grooming or walking, it doesn’t matter.  Your horse can teach you how to live in the moment, relax and just be. They are great therapists. If you don’t have your own horse, spend time with someone else’s horse (with their permission, of course).  3) Meditation – again, not for everyone. Sit quietly first thing in the morning or at night before bed, close your eyes, allow your thoughts to pass through your brain and out your ears. Repeat a mantra over and over, either out loud or in your head. (Something like ‘God is good.’ or ‘God is all there is’  or ‘Life is good.’) This can be a five minute or more practice, once or twice a day. I promise it will make you calmer.  4) Exercise – Yoga (very good)  or walking or going to the gym. Something physical.  These will absolutely reduce your stress level.

Self-imposed deadlines can be re-written! Re-write them! Ask yourself if anyone will die if you don’t meet the deadline. Probably not. Amend it then, to something that will make your life easier. We are often the creator of our own stress.

Enjoy the holidays. Be with family if you can. Be good to yourself. Maybe some extra pampering would help. Get a massage! If you are relaxed and feeling cared for (by yourself) you will be in a much better position to handle the days that lead up to the date in December by which everything must be accomplished.

If none of the above works for you, there’s always alcohol! (Kidding – sort of.)

Happy Holidays!  :))

When life requires patience

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Today I am a patient in the waiting room of my doctor’s office. Being a patient requires one to be patient. Let me explain.

I get sick two to three times per year but rarely is it serious. It’s almost as if   my body is saying, “Time to slow down, Sarah. You need to rest.” It starts out with a sore throat and a general feeling of malaise. Most of the time it never goes beyond that. I have to rest and within four to five days I am usually back to normal. This particular time it is not getting better, ergo, my trip to the doctor. Again, no other symptoms except a mild headache. No cough, no fever, no sneezing or congestion.

Patience? Even though I’m retired, I have a full and busy life. I am editing my second book (“The story she had to tell” – a novel due out next Spring), promoting my first book (“For Dear Life” – a memoir taking place in Tehran, Iran in the 1970’s), taking care of and riding my horse “Barbie”, going to the gym, reading, cleaning, etc. You get the idea. My days are full! When I am sick, I can do almost none of the above! It’s frustrating at best, crazy making when I let it go there.

You may have much more serious health issues than I, so you know how important the virtue of patience is, especially if you are a control freak who likes to have things accomplished within a reasonable amount of time.

Patience was designated a virtue for a reason. It takes faith to let your duties and responsibilities go unattended while you focus on yourself. Time to go down a few levels on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs chart to the Survival or Physiological level. (See below.)

Here is a brief description of Maslow and his HON:

Abraham Harold Maslow was an American psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs in priority, culminating in self-actualization. Wikipedia
When you are sick, you must turn within and concentrate all of your efforts on getting through, getting over, healing, etc. before you get back up to the
third or fourth levels, both of which are closer to Self-Actualization.
It is normal to move among the layers. That’s life. We are not always ready or in a position to take on the world. Sometimes we have to step back. I think I’ll say that often we have to step back, or go down a level or two, or even three.
This is where patience comes in. Letting go of the need to accomplish. Trusting others to do the tasks that must get done. Allowing the unnecessary jobs to go undone. It’s not easy. It can challenge and test the best and the bravest among us; but it is a necessary part of being a good human. No one ever makes it to the top of the pyramid anyway! Well, maybe a small few. Jesus comes to mind.
Take care of yourself. Let go of the phrase, “But I have to……”. No, you don’t. Take a deep breath and listen to your body. Be patient. The payback comes later.   :))

In defense of non-efficiency

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Do you remember “Efficiency Experts”?  Back in the late 1970’s the insurance brokerage firm I worked for hired several of them to evaluate its employees and the operation in general. I remember being interviewed about what I did on a daily basis and then asked if I had suggestions to improve the quality and flow of my work day. I approached the process with some skepticism as did most of my colleagues but we cooperated and waited for the big changes to come down the pike. No big changes were made as a result of the study. I wonder how much the company paid for it?

I’m not even sure if these people still exist today. I did some research. I believe they currently fall under the heading of “Business Consultant”. I am not here today to tout the benefits of hiring efficiency experts. On the contrary, I am here to say that in most areas of your life, efficiency is the last thing you need!

Efficiency is defined as “the accomplishment of or ability to accomplish a job with a minimum expenditure of time and effort”. Very valuable in business, right? No argument there. However, as a retired person, I see very little value in living my life efficiently. Am I wrong?

Being retired means managing your own time, all the time. I do have commitments to others where time matters because someone else’s time is being spent as well as mine. However, when it’s just me, doing things that I love and I am alone – who wants to be efficient? I don’t!

Example, waking up in the morning. Some of you probably jump out of bed early to get your day started. I don’t do that anymore. When I wake up, I stay in bed for a a minimum of ten minutes and ease my way into the day. I cherish my ability to control my own time and as a rule I don’t want to worry about it!

How long it takes me to write, to read a book, grocery shop, to go to the gym and work out, to clean house, to watch something unproductive and of questionable value on TV – is not only of little importance to me now but watching the clock makes me crabby! I resent having to be somewhere at a certain time. It is annoying to this  lady of leisure!

I do have tasks, even fun hobbies where time is important. I do those with great love and appreciation. But my most favorite times are where time isn’t important or measured. It is very freeing. It is one of the best benefits of being retired.

I rarely wear a watch anymore and when I do, it serves as a piece of jewelry, not a timepiece. I only look at the clock occasionally. Who cares? I know many of you will disagree because you still pay attention to time, even when retired. Good for you! I did way too much of that when I was in the corporate world. It doesn’t suit my life style any longer and that feels wonderful.

Efficiency has tremendous value. When you are retired, it has less value. You get to decide the importance it plays in your life. I would only suggest that you leave most of it at your old workplace. Go ahead, waste some time! You’ve earned it!  :))