I love this time of year as many of you do. However, it seems to bring some additional stress into our lives at the same time. ‘But you’re retired!’ you say. ‘You shouldn’t be feeling stress!’ Point taken. But even retired folks can feel it. Of course we can! Why? Because we, too, like our gainfully employed friends, impose deadlines on ourselves. That’s it! The stress comes from deadlines being imposed by the stressee! Isn’t that counter intuitive?
It’s almost the end of November and I have done zero Christmas shopping. I suppose there are others who will be saying the same thing on December 20th. I’m not that bad. But I am definitely feeling a little stressed right now knowing that I have so many presents to buy before Christmas. December 25th is not a deadline I imposed on myself. It’s a non-negotiable date we all have to live with, every year.
I know people who only have to buy a few gifts. (My husband would be one of those lucky people). I do all of the Christmas shopping for our family. He only has to buy for me! The self-imposed stress for me actually starts right there – I am the Christmas shopper. If I am remembering correctly, I have 19 people to buy for, 7 are children. Three of those children live on the East Coast so I have to buy, wrap and ship those by mid-December to be safe. Another deadline.
Usually by now I have ideas for all of these people. Not this year. I lost two weeks recently due to illness. I didn’t care about Christmas or presents or anything for that matter during those two weeks. I just wanted to feel better. That put me behind, on everything!
I asked myself today what I could share with you that might help with your holiday stress. Here are a few things that I came up with. 1) Take ten minutes (or more if you can) once a day and relax. Take a bath, read a magazine or a book that takes you far away, bake something, go for a walk, play with your cat, throw a Frisbee at the park to your dog. Ten minutes, in the middle of your stress, i.e., ESCAPE! 2) Not many of us qualify for this one, but if you own a horse, spend time with it – riding or grooming or walking, it doesn’t matter. Your horse can teach you how to live in the moment, relax and just be. They are great therapists. If you don’t have your own horse, spend time with someone else’s horse (with their permission, of course). 3) Meditation – again, not for everyone. Sit quietly first thing in the morning or at night before bed, close your eyes, allow your thoughts to pass through your brain and out your ears. Repeat a mantra over and over, either out loud or in your head. (Something like ‘God is good.’ or ‘God is all there is’ or ‘Life is good.’) This can be a five minute or more practice, once or twice a day. I promise it will make you calmer. 4) Exercise – Yoga (very good) or walking or going to the gym. Something physical. These will absolutely reduce your stress level.
Self-imposed deadlines can be re-written! Re-write them! Ask yourself if anyone will die if you don’t meet the deadline. Probably not. Amend it then, to something that will make your life easier. We are often the creator of our own stress.
Enjoy the holidays. Be with family if you can. Be good to yourself. Maybe some extra pampering would help. Get a massage! If you are relaxed and feeling cared for (by yourself) you will be in a much better position to handle the days that lead up to the date in December by which everything must be accomplished.
If none of the above works for you, there’s always alcohol! (Kidding – sort of.)
Happy Holidays! :))