A dear friend of mine is going through a very difficult time. Because of this, everything seems dark in her world. Even minor inconveniences look and feel much larger than they really are. This is a dangerous place to be. When one challenge is facing you, everything else in your life, no matter the weight, takes on a much darker image. This creates a downward spiral with you at the center. Negative thinking feeds upon negative thinking. What started out as a small or medium sized monster has become King Kong and your hope for survival diminishes with every passing day.
What can be done? It’s called perspective and it can and should become your new best friend. How does it work? When you are experiencing a challenge in your life, try to see it in the grand scheme of things. What is the worst that could happen? Is it life threatening or less than? If, like my friend, more than one thing hits you in a short period of time, you really need to look at everything realistically. The second thing that happened, is it more or less threatening than the first challenge? Perspective means you are seeing something in the context of other, similar issues. Which is worse – getting a parking ticket or falling and spraining your ankle? Breaking your arm or needing open heart surgery? Finding out you have curable cancer or learning that you have a terminal disease? You get the idea. My father used to say, “Everything is relative.”
When I was three years old my mother delivered her third child who was born dead. She clearly was devastated and for a while inconsolable. The only thing that brought her out of it was meeting another woman in the hospital who had not only lost one child but was visiting her terminally ill remaining child. My mother had two healthy daughters at home. As horrible as her experience was, she counted her blessings as she reflected on the other woman’s fate. A beautiful demonstration of perspective.
Gaining perspective is not going to diminish your pain or instantly make your life rosy again. But it will put you in a more positive space where solving problems and meeting challenges can be more effectively accomplished.
The next time you are faced with one or more serious problems, think of a scenario that would be worse and then count your blessings, knowing that your woes are not as bad as they could be. I am reminded of a beautiful message, “If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.” Can I get an “Amen”? :))