Matthew 8:26 – He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
It was dark outside and getting darker. As I looked out of the airplane window, all I could see thousands of feet below me were city lights. It brought me little peace. The pilot had warned us that as we left Portland and climbed to our final altitude of 34,000 feet, it would be a bit “bumpy”. That was his word, not mine. Bumpy didn’t begin to describe it. It had been at least 30 minutes since we left the Portland area and we had long since reached the ceiling. So much for the pilot’s attempt to keep us calm. I was far from it.
I told you before that I am not a fan of flying. I also told you that I now take 5mg of Valium hours before the flight which generally keeps my nerves at bay. Normally, if we hit turbulence I look out of the window and remark to myself, Oh, we’ve hit some turbulence. But I’m not worried. I know everything is fine.
Months ago I read a wonderful book called “Soar”, written by Captain Tom Bunn, MSW, LCSW, a licensed therapist and airline captain. He wrote this book to teach people about his successful program for conquering flight anxiety. Did it help me? Yes. Am I cured? No. Should I read it again? Probably.
Up until this flight on Wednesday night I have been doing very well as a passenger. But this flight was, in my unprofessional opinion, way beyond “bumpy”. I was terrified, something I hate to be while flying. Although my husband was also on the flight he had chosen to sit in the back of the plane, nearer to the restroom as he had the stomach flu. I was fine with that, initially. Until the turbulence hit. Then I wished I would have been able to grab his arm and ask, as a small child might, “Are we going to be okay?”
What did I do? I remembered that as a Christian I have the Holy Spirit inside me at all times. I asked, then pleaded, then begged him to take my fear away AND please, while you are at it, smooth out the flight! Please Holy Spirit, take away this terrible fear I have right now. And also, please make the turbulence go away! We had moments, and trust me, they were just moments, where it was bearable. And then, I started to calm down a bit. I remembered things I had learned from the book, “Soar”. Even though the turbulence had not let up, I began to fear it less. I found that sitting forward, with my elbows on my thighs while holding my head, made it more bearable. If I leaned back in the seat, the choppiness was more palpable.
I remembered the above passage from the Bible. Inside my head I heard, “Don’t be afraid.” Oh ye of little faith, I thought to myself. Faith is believing when your logic and your eyes tell you not to. It isn’t easy to do. It requires discipline and confidence that everything will be alright. Let go of your fear. Trust that God will provide. And in this case, although my fear remained, it was reduced enough so that I could endure the rest of the flight.
Are there areas in your life or times in your life when having faith feels impossible? Try believing anyway. Give it over to God and trust. Having even the smallest faith (as a mustard seed, remember?) can make the difference between suffering and peace of mind. Try it. God bless.