Between a rock and a hard place

I have two grown sons who are both married with children. One lives here, in Corona. The other lives in Portland, Oregon. I love them both more than words could say. It broke my heart when my young son and his wife moved to Portland almost three years ago. But I adapted. I have visited them several times and they have come down here.  Like I said, I have adapted. One does. You have no choice.

Except you do. We are now talking about the possibility of moving to Portland. California is very expensive, high taxes, etc. We have a beautiful home with land that we purchased to build a barn and an arena for our horses. That never happened. And so we have all of this land and rather than bringing us joy it brings us (I should say Bill) challenges, blood, sweat and a smaller bank account. We are older now and really don’t need all of this land. He would argue that we don’t even need the size house we have but I respectfully disagree. He’s ready to downsize and leave California. We have each lived here consecutively for over 15 years. In my lifetime I have lived in California a grand total of 36 years. Maybe it’s time to live somewhere else?

This is not written in stone but we are going up there tomorrow for four days to do some exploring. We will be looking at neighborhoods and meeting with a realtor that I have been “working” with for about two years.

I don’t want to leave my older son and his family who live here. But it would be nice to live more cheaply and to be close to my younger son and his family. Thus the rock and the hard place. I will be sad either way. My young son and his wife are very excited at the prospect of having family up there. I have lived there before. It’s beautiful. It’s clean. There are four seasons. Yes, it rains a lot but six months out of the year the weather is spectacular. In the late summer it stays light until almost 10 o’clock at night. It snows occasionally in the winter but not so much as to be unmanageable. And I still have friends up there.

But then again, California has been my home for many years. I love my house. I love my life here. What to do? We are going to wait and see how we feel after this trip. Bill is not crazy about the weather up there. When it’s time to decide, we will decide. I am hoping the answer will be obvious. Maybe like it was for my son and his wife three years ago. They went up there to check it out and came home with an apartment lined up and two jobs! They have since bought a house which also fell into place quite nicely. Meant to be. Hmm.

When you find yourself between a rock and a hard place sometimes the best thing to do is wait. Unless the choice is an obvious one, give yourself some time. Pray about it. Make lists of pros and cons. I am a big proponent of list making. Look at your possible choice from all angles. Do this when you mind is clear and your emotions are asleep. My father told me once that with very few exceptions. all decisions can be reversed. It’s probably not life or death. You will survive even if you made what you realize later was the wrong decision. Decide again.

Bill and I have decided not to decide just yet. We have to weigh all of the options, the positives and the negatives. And then we will commit 100%. One of my sons will be disappointed; one of them will be thrilled. One of my sons I will visit as often as I can.  A rock and a hard place. Maybe I should put a big cushy pillow over whichever one I choose. :))

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