This was a saying I heard from my maternal grandmother when I was growing up. She said it often. I never got the nuances of its meaning until years later as an adult when I went through some pretty tough times. And then her voice would ring loud and clear in my ear and I would smile. Yes, Mina. You were right. Life is not for the faint of heart.
As most of you know, my beloved horse, Barbie, has been sick since Christmas Day and in the hospital since New Year’s Day. Yes, holidays and weekends – worst possible time for anyone or any animal, especially horses, to get sick. She was operated on last Sunday where they discovered she had enteritis. In common language, this is an inflammation of the small intestine. All they could do was to “milk” it, or massage it, getting out anything that was blocking the pathway. The surgery lasted an hour. I waited there most of the day, along with Barbie’s previous owner who is also my trainer. She loves this horse every bit as much as I do. She went through Barbie’s major colic surgery about six years ago.
After an hour in recovery, she walked back to her isolation stall, a distance of maybe 500 feet. We were amazed to see this girl walking and very steadily I might add. As she cleared the building she looked straight over to where we were standing as if to say, “Are you still here?” We were told to be quiet so as not to startle what might be an unsteady horse. About ten minutes after she was back in her stall, we were allowed to see her. Half-way down the path to her she must have seen us as she started to whiny – twice – I guess once for each one of us. She sounded funny because she still had the nasal tube down her throat but was definitely acknowledging that she heard us and was glad that she was not alone. The Vet said many horses need that comfort after awakening from anesthesia.
It was a long day and although the subsequent days have been much shorter, I find myself exhausted by the time I return home after my visit. I call every morning at 9:30 (after the doctor has finished rounds) to check on her progress. As I dial the number to the hospital I can feel the anxiety build. Although she is progressing very well, I am still afraid of what I might hear.
Today the thought struck me, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken!” I had almost forgotten. In times of stress it serves me well to remember this piece of wisdom from my grandmother. Sometimes life can be hard. It can really mess with your equilibrium. You go from an involved participant, active and accomplishing your daily tasks to all but shut down. Nothing gets done except what is critical for your survival and sometimes even that suffers. You have to keep reminding yourself that you can do this. You can handle it. Don’t give into the negative thoughts surrounding your head, looking for a place to enter and destroy the pieces of hope and optimism floating inside. Be strong. Believe you will get through this, because you will.
As things get better with my horse, I find room in my day to get little things accomplished – go to the dry cleaner, pick up cat food for the sanctuary, buy that belated birthday card for my brother-in-law, check out a new place for a pedicure. Wow! That was a lot! Yesterday I could only do one thing – go to the hospital to see my girl. Life is slowly resuming. Days are almost feeling normal again.
I forgot to mention in my last blog that in addition to being kind to yourself and focusing on what demands your attention, ESCAPE! When possible, dive into a good book, go to the movies, watch mindless television. Give yourself permission to stop worrying for short periods of time. It will allow your body’s reserves to build up for whatever comes next.
You are strong. You were made with the ability to handle whatever comes your way. Trust your inner warrior. And then frolic in the playground on the other side until it’s time to get serious again, to be a responsible adult. Everything that you left undone will still be waiting for you when you are ready to handle it.
It’s a great life if you don’t weaken. Indeed. Now I think I’m going to lie on the couch and watch “Rehab Addict”. :))
My father always said… “Life is Tough, If you don’t weaken”
From the early 1970’s, after he went back to street busking, my brother Don Partridge used to play and sing the lyrics “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken; it’s a good life if you don’t fall; it’s a great life if you don’t weaken; and I don’t weaken at all.” I don’t know the origin of this, or whether he adapted the lyrics from an old saying. He never recorded that song.
That’s so interesting! I have no idea where my grandmother got that expression. I would guess from her mother who had a million of them. Thanks for sharing!
My mother also used to say that – and I also adopted it. One of my children has actually sent me this article!