Author: Sarah Tauber

Put in the time

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

How many of you have mastered something that you love to do? Did you decide one day that you wanted to do it and then excelled at it on the first try? The second or third try? I doubt it. You know where I am going with this. To achieve  excellence at something you have to work at it, practice, put in the time. Oh, that’s so tedious! you say. It’s hard. I don’t have time for all the practice.

I said a few of these words the other day to my trainer. I was desperately looking for a proper excuse (one that she would accept) as to why I don’t ride more often. I’m stuck in this one area of my riding ability and I can’t get past it. To let her know that it mattered to me, I said, “What do I need to do to fix this?” I expected an exercise, something I could do during a lesson or even practice at home. That would have been very convenient and wouldn’t disrupt my busy days. I wasn’t looking for nor did I particularly want the answer I got. “You need to ride more. You need to practice when you are not having a lesson. If you want to get better at something, you need to put in the time!” My heart sank. “Crap,” I said inaudibly. I knew she was right. I walked right into that one. I have heard it a million times when someone else was the subject of the advice, not me!

The other thing is that I am not 35 anymore. I’m older now. I don’t have the energy I used to have. When I go to the barn for a lesson, I come home pretty much exhausted. On days that I have three or more errands to run, I am completely wiped out.

Do you feel sorry for me yet? You shouldn’t. I shouldn’t. My trainer was 100% correct. She is the best, after all. I’ve been with her for 5+ years. I can take her advice to the bank, every time.

And so I got up extra early yesterday morning so that I could get to the barn for an early ride,  leave  there by 11:15 to drive to Orange County for a 12:15 appointment and then grocery shop followed by driving home to get ready for a dinner with friends in San Marcos. Ugh! (Did I mention that I hate to get up early?)

Put the time in. If there is anything you want to get better at, improve on, excel at, you have no choice. The bonus is elevated self-esteem and self-confidence which grow exponentially the more you practice.

With very few exceptions, no one can achieve perfection at something without putting in the time. Check back with me in a few months. I’ll let you know how it’s going! :))

 

Unanswered prayer

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

You’re a new Christian. You are filled with hope and the promise of great things to come. You now have an ally in your corner that you didn’t have before. You walk with a certain confidence. It’s almost like having a 300 lb bodyguard at your side 24/7. After years of walking around unsupported, you are now ready for anything. Or are you?

It’s true and even reasonable that when you first become a Christian there are expectations of good overcoming evil and right conquering wrong. In general, an air of optimism prevails. And then something happens that throws you off track. You’re sucker punched by events that you didn’t see coming. What was that? I thought I was protected from the negative. Shouldn’t I be immune from liars, evil-doers and pain?

It might seem naive to the average person, especially the long time Christian, but to someone just beginning their journey, it feels like a bonus that automatically comes with taking that first step toward Jesus.

It has been just under a year since I joined the flock. I know that all prayers are not answered, even those pitched with the utmost religious fervor. God doesn’t always give you what you ask for. Why not? Aren’t you deserving? Of course. But the specific answer eludes me. I don’t know why. I do know that when we pray for something, we are unable to see the big picture that God sees. Maybe if we got what we wanted it would prevent something much better from happening. Haven’t you ever prayed for something that you didn’t get? And then down the road,  you realized and were grateful that your prayer went unanswered because things turned out much better than they would have had you been given what you wanted.

At the time, it seems like God is ignoring you, or worse, punishing you. But – but – I believed! I read my bible! I prayed often and with an open heart. I trusted Him. What happened? Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Your most sincere and heart-felt prayers aren’t always answered. Sometimes the bad guy wins (at least for the short term). Accept it and move on.

What, as Christians, can we count on with respect to prayer?

1. Sometimes your prayers will be answered

2. Sometimes they won’t be.

3. Sometimes you will ultimately get something better.

4. God will see you through it, whatever “it” is. When you’re on the other end of an unanswered prayer it can be tough to believe that God is working things out for your good or that He is with you every step of the way to provide comfort and peace in your darkest moments.

He’s not a genie in a bottle, nor is He Santa Claus. He is God, our Father in Heaven, here for us, loving us, helping us, unfailingly. And couldn’t that be considered the greatest answered prayer? I believe so.

God bless.

Light up the dark

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

In Sunday school they taught us that we were all little lamps that God had created to light up the world. At six and seven I couldn’t imagine what they were talking about. The concept that a lamp was inside of me and that God had put it there to shine was beyond my reasoning ability.

Years later I heard it again. Let your light shine! By then I had an idea of what it meant but was at a loss to do any shining, of any significance, that is. Was it merely a matter of smiling at everyone, even strangers? If it was, I had a problem with that. I wasn’t about to smile at strange men. They might think that I was flirting with  them! No. That was not going to happen.

I have known and understood the concept now for a long time. I don’t think I have ever done it, unless it happened without my knowledge. Maybe a blip in time, perhaps when my inner joy was bursting out of me and shone on the outside so brightly that it would light up the room. I have certainly had such moments, but is that what God is referring to? What if the joy was due to my passion for Him?

Matthew 5:14-16    You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Oh -so that’s what He meant! It’s not that you are aglow due to inner joy. It’s that you are following God and being charitable to others. This brings attention to the good works and shines a light on them for others to see. It not only brings glory to God but encourages others to do the same, His ultimate goal.

You can’t walk around with a sign that says “I’m a Christian” and then behave badly. This tells others that you are a hypocrite. Unfortunately, there are many people who avoid Christianity because their experience with so-called “Christians” is one of hypocrisy and deception. Those people are Christians in name only.

When you become a Christian, it is incumbent upon you to act like one. Follow God, live in obedience to Him, show non-believers what it means to walk the talk.

The world is filled with dark spots – poverty, pain, neglect, evil. Be a light that shines in the darkness. Do you think that you are such an insignificant being, you couldn’t possibly make a difference?  The truth is you absolutely can. A small act of kindness ripples out, just like skipping pebbles across the water. The positive results don’t stop at the recipient.

Step out of your house every day with the intention of being a light for someone else, someone who needs it. Light up the dark. God will surely smile on you. :))

Love is a four letter word

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

When she walked through the door of the upscale Newport Beach restaurant, she knew that someone was waiting for her just feet away at the bar. It was someone she had never met but hoped with every fiber of her being that she would like him and he would like her.

She caught his eye as she drew closer to the bar. He was handsome, with light brown hair and lovely green eyes. He stood up to introduce himself. “Hi Sarah. I’m Bill.” He motioned for her to sit down on the stool next to him. “What would you like to drink?” he asked. He was taking her in and memorizing her eyes, her smile, her hair. “A glass of champagne would be nice,” she said demurely. But this was no ingenue. She was in her early fifties and he in his late fifties. Is it even possible to find true love after all these years of empty relationships, bad dates and lonely Saturday nights? She would soon find out. Be patient, Sarah, she told herself. The evening has just begun.

That was August 16, 2002, the night I met my husband. I had been single for eighteen years, raising my son and taking care of my mother who had passed away just eight months prior. My son was getting ready to leave the nest. I would soon be alone, the dreaded “old woman with the cats”, grocery shopping for one. I could imagine the groceries as I laid them down on the conveyor belt: a bottle of champagne, one roasted chicken, some apples, oranges and berries, a few avocados, some kind of fish and of course, cat food. The image in my mind gave me the shivers. I didn’t want to end up like that. The thought was more than a little disturbing.

We started dating and getting to know each other. There were arguments as we each revealed the baggage we had brought with us. It took time. It took patience. It took the desire to believe in and accept another human being into my world. Did I mention patience?

I look back on that time and realize how much we have both grown. We are older now and I dare say considerably wiser. It’s nice that we have gotten to this point in our lives where the small stuff doesn’t matter anymore. The big stuff we handle together, as a team. There’s give and take, compromise and forgiveness. There’s being okay with imperfection, in each other and in the life we’ve built together. There’s knowing that we can withstand whatever confronts us, no matter how big or how destructive that monster may be. It’s letting the little disappointments fade and the special moments be etched into our memories.

When he comes down the driveway at night and honks to let me know he’s home, the butterflies invade my stomach. Knowing that I get to sleep next to him every night warms my heart and curls my toes.

My message to you? Love is real and not reserved for the lucky or the beautiful or the rich. It can happen anytime, usually when you least expect it. It is like a rare orchid that must be nurtured in order to grow and survive. It changes who you are into someone you never imagined yourself to be.

If you have it, be grateful for it and don’t ever take it for granted. If you don’t, then live with an open heart and never stop believing in the impossible. Impossible becomes possible every day. God bless. :))

Attitude…..again

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

Two people who live in the same town experience the exact same challenges and blessings in a twelve hour day. One of them ends the day with the following sentiment, “What a lousy day! Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but I doubt it.” The other one says, “Thank you, God for another wonderful day of my life. Thank you for the lessons today and for letting me experience them. Oh! And thank you for the rain! It sounded so good to me and I loved splashing around in the puddles with my little one!”

I had some challenges this week. A situation I was hoping to avoid boldly and rudely threw me off my equilibrium. I quickly realized that the only control I had was my attitude. I changed it. I wasn’t going to let this turn of events (that I had recently begged God to prevent) ruin my day or my opportunity to be joyful. As it turned out, I had a great day by overcoming my situation with a smile. In doing so, I had no knot in my stomach, no angry headache and no crabby face. It’s amazing what a smile can do for your disposition!

And so I decided to write another blog about the power of attitude. Life is life, right? Things go wrong, computers crash (no, please!) rain ruins your outdoor plans (not so much in So. Ca.), something you were counting on doesn’t happen, etc. We can’t control the events but we can absolutely control how we respond to them. When something unexpected or unwanted happens, stop before reacting. Stop before you label the day “bad.” Remind yourself that you have a choice. You can smile and carry on, rearranging, adjusting or whatever you need to do – or, you can give in to the negative and sulk, pout, stomp your feet, treat others badly who had nothing to do with it and in general be a sourpuss.

Which choice sounds like a winner? Smiling, of course. Adapting, re-grouping, telling yourself that it’s all good (one of my favorite expressions). Life will continue to do its thing with or without your cooperation. Why not enjoy it?

You know people who say,  “I’ll be happy as soon as I get my degree”; “get accepted for the loan”; “find the right partner”; “sell the house”, etc. It doesn’t work that way. You’ll be happy when you make the choice to be. It’s as simple as that. I knew this intellectually many years ago. I started practicing it only recently.

Be happy, despite what life throws your way. If you get a devastating blow, do what you can, control what you can control and then leave the rest to God. Trust in Him to get you through. And remember, nothing is forever.

A joyful life demands courage, patience, resilience, gratitude, love and a good attitude. What kind of life do you want?  God bless. :))

God on demand

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

I said it but part of me thought, that’s disrespectful! You don’t demand anything of God and certainly you don’t command Him. But I knew what I meant. It was a play on words. My point – God is available to all of us, but at a price.

Many of us (old me) go to God when we’re in trouble or about to go over a cliff. That’s when we start to bargain with him, “If you get me out of this, I promise I’ll start going to church every Sunday!” “If you cure me, I’ll become a better person. I’ll give to charity!” “I’ll start tithing at my church.” “I’ll volunteer at a soup kitchen.” “I’ll stop being so selfish.” Sound familiar? I’ve been there, usually during a bumpy airplane ride. What’s wrong with that? Isn’t He our comforter, our go-to guy when we need help?

I alluded to this two blogs ago. “Who is your god?” When we only go to Him for a “favor” it’s tantamount to exploitation. Remember the relative (or friend) who only comes around when he/she needs something? Does that make you feel good? Does it improve your relationship with said relative? In all honesty, it probably makes it worse.

What’s the “right” way to have a relationship with God? Communicate with Him all the time, when you’re having a good day, when you’re having a lousy day, when you are frightened or worried about something. But mostly, tell Him when you are grateful, and that should be often. An attitude of gratitude is the right way to live.

Make Him your confidante. Tell Him your secrets, your dreams, your greatest fears, your regrets. Make Him a big part of your life, the biggest and most important part. He is always there, always ready to listen, to help you get through the best of days and the worst of days. He’s an “on demand” God and you don’t need cable to find Him. God bless. :))

 

Go with the flow – or not?

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

When you hear the phrase, “Go with the flow”, what comes to mind? When I was in my 20s, that was a common expression. I used to think it was sage advice. Don’t fight it, relax and go with it. You’ll only become stressed and raise your blood pressure unnecessarily if you try to swim upstream. EST had a saying, “It’s best to ride a horse in the direction that it’s going.”

Have I become a rebel in my old age? Perhaps. Think of some of the biggest achievements in history, (e.g. abolishment of slavery) or the battles that were won (e.g. Revolutionary War). Had those individuals chosen to “go with the flow”, then their achievements would be non-existent and many battles would not have been fought. The status quo would have prevailed. Is that a good thing? In the case of our greatest achievements, the answer is a resounding “No!”

In my current stage of life I am inclined not to “go with the flow”. The idea of it sounds like giving in to me, the equivalent of “don’t make waves”. Should we go along with the majority position even when we  disagree? What if the majority’s values are radically different from ours?

I’m not really much of a rebel. Under certain circumstances I might even choose to go with the flow, but certainly not in all cases, probably not most. I’m more inclined to stop, check in with my thoughts and beliefs and then move in my own direction, if they were not aligned with the “flow.”

Where did the expression come from? It was first known to be used by Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius who wrote “most things flow naturally” and in his opinion it was better to “go with the flow” than to try and change society. That would definitely be advantageous for an emperor, right? No subversion, no mutiny, no government overthrow?

Definitions:

To not have a particularly strong opinion on something and thus follow the majority.

Do what other people are doing or agree with the opinion of others.

Where do you stand on the “go with the flow” issue? I cheer for those who stand up to the majority when in their mind wrongs are being perpetrated. (Remember Hitler?)

If you are with a group of friends wondering where to go to lunch and everyone chooses Carl’s Jr. and you would prefer Marie Callendar’s, I think going with the flow would make sense and prevent you from appearing contrary or selfish. But what if the crowd is suggesting something completely abhorrent to your moral sensibilities? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Whether you go with the flow or march to the beat of your own drum, do it with integrity and conviction. Evaluate the situation and then commit. There is nothing wrong with going with the flow if the flow is going where you want to be!  :))

Who is your god?

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

You may believe in a supreme being but where is your attention going? What takes priority in your life? Where does your energy go?

It’s worth pondering. You may believe in God but whatever controls your thinking, comes first or devours your time is arguably the real god in your life.

Some examples:

Money: For you, the most important thing in your life is making money. The more money you make, the more “successful” you believe yourself to be.

Possessions: By acquiring more material possessions or “toys”,  you believe you will be more important and impressive in the eyes of the world.

Being “beautiful”: Creams, excessive exercise, cosmetic surgery. You believe that external beauty will gain you more friends and admirers.

These are just three examples of what can become your god. It’s where you mind goes most of the time. It’s where your energy goes and a lot of your money. Wait a minute, you say, what’s wrong with wanting more money, having more things or looking better? Nothing, as long as it doesn’t become your ultimate goal in life.

If you are a Christian, you know exactly whereof I speak. God is #1 and everything else falls beneath Him in value.

Money, possessions, physical beauty or whatever is currently your god – does it bring joy? Does it make you happy? More importantly, will it last? The simple answer is “no.” All will be gone one day, no matter how hard you try to hold on. The happiness it brings you now is short lived.

If God is not #1, then who do you turn to when your life goes south? When tragedy hits or you are overwhelmed with sorrow, where do you find comfort? Some people only turn to God in times of trouble, as if they don’t need him when life is going well.  It’s like the relative who only calls you when he/she wants something. How does it make you feel?

I have always believed in God but it wasn’t until I became a Christian that I took a serious look at my life and where my attention and heart were going. Now it’s an easy answer, God. He is the real thing, the only thing I can always lean on, seek in times of trouble and pray to, knowing that He hears my every word. He will either calm the storm I find myself in or calm me so that I can weather the storm.

Where is your attention going every day? On something substantial, real, eternal and unfailing or on the things of this Earth that will never fill the void inside you?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matthew 6:21.  Your choice. God bless. :))

Fear of Flying

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

I think most of you know that I am not a fan of flying. As the saying goes, “If God had intended for man to fly, he would have given him wings!” Well, it doesn’t work like that, does it? Thousands of people fly every day, be it in a small twin engine or a large commercial jet. Flying is a major mode of transportation and for many, a popular one.

On the flip side, I am a big fan of traveling to places I want to see in a fraction of the time it would take  to drive there. For example, Portland, Oregon – 2 hours flying vs 17 hours driving! And then there are the more exotic destinations – Europe, South America, Africa, etc. Places I want to go to but must get on an airplane to get there. Thus my dilemma. How to resolve?

I have researched the basic safety of airplanes. I have spoken to people (including crew members) who fly all the time without fear. I am in awe of these people. I will fly when I have to in order to get somewhere I want to be but to make it a way of life or a career, no thank you! Are they crazy?

Here are some fun facts about flying:

1. No other form of transportation is as scrutinized, investigated and monitored as commercial aviation.

2. Flying is proven to be the safest way to travel.

3. Turbulence will not bring the plane down nor will it tear off the wings!

Blah, blah, blah is what I hear. I try, I really do, to enjoy the whole flying experience. There are even moments when the flight is smooth, the sights out the window (Oh, I must have a window seat to make sure that the plane doesn’t catch fire!) are breathtaking and I think of God and the beautiful world He created. And then we hit some turbulence – big turbulence, and my blissful demeanor becomes one of sheer terror.

I had heard of people like myself who hate to fly and were given medication from their doctors to better endure the experience. Hmm. Let me look into that, I thought to myself. I did and now I take one low dose of Valium before getting on the plane. The last flight I took (2 days ago) I did just that. It calmed my nerves so much that when the turbulence hit, I glanced out the window (note the word “glanced” – I did not say “jerked my head around so fast I lost consciousness) and thought “Yes, it is indeed quite bumpy out there but somehow I’m not frightened. I actually don’t care what happens.” What?

Ah-ha! Here is my solution! It’s not 100% foolproof, however. There was some major turbulence that lasted seconds during which my nerves fought their way to the surface but it was mere seconds and I quickly recovered my equilibrium.

So, if you love flying or fly without fear, I salute you with great admiration. If you are a scaredy-cat like I am, give thought to a mild sedative. We need all the help we can get, right? Happy flying! :))

 

Under the weather

Posted on by Sarah Tauber

It started Sunday night after family and friends had departed. Sneezing, non-stop, congestion. By Monday morning I knew. I had a cold, again!

I hate getting sick because it turns my busy schedule on its head. Juggling, rearranging, learning flexibility all over again. Ugh! What makes it worse this time is the fact that I’m leaving on Friday (tomorrow) for Portland for my grandson’s first birthday!

I awoke yesterday thinking, “I’m under the weather.” I started wondering where that expression came from. Do you know? It’s actually a maritime phrase. When sailors became ill, (usually seasick), they were ordered to go below deck and therefore below the weather. Down below, the rolling of the ship would be felt less than up on deck. They were said to be “under the weather.”

Besides “under the weather” there were other interesting idioms I looked up.

1) “Under the table” – Hidden, secret, often illegal. Something that is under the table is hidden from sight. The expression, “I drank him under the table” means that the other person got so drunk that they fell off their chair and landed under the table.

2) “Under one’s breath” – First recorded in 1832, probably a hyperbole, alluding to a sound that is softer than breathing.

3) “Under one’s belt” – Experienced or achieved. This metaphoric expression likens food that has been consumed to an experience that has been digested. (First half of the 1800s)

4) “Under my thumb” – Controlled or dominated by someone. Mid 1700s. The allusion was to a protagonist so powerful and a victim so insignificant that even the former’s thumb was strong enough to control them.

Interesting, right? And so I remain “under the weather”, hopefully better by tomorrow. :))

p.s. My blog for next week will be delayed a few days as I will be out of town! Stay tuned!