My daughter-in-law gave me a gratitude journal for Christmas this year. I have never owned one but I loved the idea. I have been trying to focus more on all that I am grateful for, day by day, no matter how big or small the object of my gratitude. I became dedicated to writing in the journal daily. I came pretty close, occasionally missing a day, rarely more. And then this happened.
I was sitting on the couch, facing the journal and my thoughts. I couldn’t think of what to say. You see, at the moment I was not feeling very grateful at all. Circumstances in my life had shifted, leaving me at a loss for grateful words. Nothing was coming. I felt obstinate, rebellious. I have nothing good to say to you today, God. Oh dear. What he must think of me.
Later that same day I found myself facing the orange book. I picked it up and this is what I wrote:
It can be a challenge to find gratitude when life gets tough. And here I am… I am still deeply grateful to my God for loving me and blessing me with this life. Thank you, God. Amen.
I felt satisfied with what I had written and that was that. The days that followed, however, left blank pages. I could not bring myself to write again. Nothing in my world had changed. I was still unhappy. I stared at the orange book on my coffee table. It stared back, shamefully reminding me of the empty pages. Daring me to miss another day, and another. How do you do this? How do you write, “Thank you God” when your heart is not in it? When the last thing you want to do is thank him for something. You just want to hide.
How do you remain grateful, even in the hardest of times? Because that is what God wants us to be. The more we appreciate all we have been given, the more will be given to us. But what to do when you are stuck? When you won’t move forward and you can’t go backward? What then?
This is not about mental health. I am only speaking about what to do when we feel unable to say, “Thank you, God,” about anything. There are times. There are moments. There are circumstances that shut you down and you cannot utter those words. You just can’t. Even though you know you should. Really, you should. So, what do you do?
You find something small. “Thank you, God, that I woke up this morning, to another day.” “Thank you, God that I didn’t get that cold I thought I was coming down with.” “Thank you, God that it didn’t rain today as scheduled and the sun is out.” “Thank you, God for my friends.” “Thank you, God that I found my phone.” You get the idea.
But it’s not just for God that we make a habit of being grateful. It actually changes the brain. It has been proven that you physically cannot complain (negative) and be grateful (positive) at the same time. Two different neuron paths. Being grateful is actually healthier and changes your mindset, which changes your outlook, which changes your day, your week, your life! Being grateful is like a free tonic to improve your world.
So, even when it is very, very hard to utter those words, think of something small to be grateful for and say it out loud. Or write it in your own orange book. Practice gratitude and you will feel better. I promise. God bless.
