The other day a picture popped up on my phone as a memory. It was of a dear friend taken three years ago. Without giving it a second thought I sent it to her thinking it would make her day. It was on the surface a beautiful picture of two people which evoked love and tenderness. The text response I got however was surprising. “That makes me sad.” Oh dear! That was not my intent. I never imagined that this lovely picture could conjure up anything but happiness. Was I wrong!
The picture was not of me. The only memory I had of it was when it was sent to me on my phone three years ago. I saw two beautiful people who loved each other and whom I loved. Not so for my friend. She saw a time of great pain and sorrow. A time when her life was falling apart and her dreams were being erased, one by one. How did I miss that? How could I have been so insensitive? I wasn’t trying to be. I felt so bad for sending it to her. She had all but forgotten that time in her life – or had she?
Regardless, I learned something that day. We don’t all see things the same. I became starkly aware that one man’s (or woman’s) joy could be another man’s pain.
After talking further with her, she did admit that she was able to see the love in the picture that I was seeing. It was just that the circumstances surrounding the picture brought back painful memories.
I then reminded her (having lived through that time with her) that the picture could be viewed through the light and joy of her life today. She had come so far in her journey, had grown so much and was now living her very best life. Perhaps when we remember times of pain or sorrow we should try experiencing those times through who we are now, i.e., from a place of strength, from the stronger foundation that we have built over time. We are no longer the person in the picture, only in the memory.
If we feel anything for that person in the picture, or for the memory, shouldn’t it be love and compassion? Perhaps forgiveness for mistakes made or poor choices? How about being proud of who you are today as you look back over time?
Memories often come without warning. They can be triggered by a picture, a song on the radio, a fragrance, an article of clothing, a movie, a comment, etc. If the memory brings with it feelings of pain or sorrow, try loving and/or forgiving who you were back then and give the same gifts to anyone else involved. See if that doesn’t give you a sense of peace, a feeling of comfort in the present moment. Maybe even closure.
We are human and therefore flawed. It helps to remember our past with love and forgiveness. Just like He does. God bless.