I have always been the kind of person who felt most comfortable when I knew (and generally understood) what was going on around me. The why’s of something. If I understood why something happened, I could respond appropriately and take the next steps if required. Not knowing why or not understanding was the equivalent of crazy making for me. What do you do with yourself when something happens and you can’t explain it? How do you react? How do you move on?
Some people prefer not to know why. “Ignorance is bliss,” right? Not in my world. I have always wanted to hear the truth, even the unpleasant, raw, disturbing truth. I don’t care how bad it is, just don’t lie to me. I raised my children this way. Tell me the truth. You won’t be punished for it.
My sister would probably say this stems from my desire to control. If I know, if I understand what is going on around me, I can deal with it. I can better respond to my immediate environment. There is probably some truth to the control theory.
Do we always get to know? No! Do we just have to live with not knowing sometimes? Yes! I might even say often.
I’d like to think that I have gotten better over the years. I have learned how to let go of things that I don’t understand. I stop trying to make sense of it and after a while like lint on my shirt I brush it off and forget about it.
People are complicated. Sometimes they don’t know why they do certain things or feel a certain way. How can we expect an explanation if even they don’t have one?
What’s the solution for people like me who want to know the whys – who want desperately to understand? Accept as one of the immutable laws of the universe that you don’t always get to know why. Surrender and move on. Let it go. By continually trying to figure something out that has no clear explanation, you will only tie up your brain which could be put to much better use on a task more productive and meaningful. It’s like beating your head against the wall – to what end? Did it solve the problem? No!
Life is an adventure, filled with all kinds of happenings. Some are wonderful, some challenging, some prickly and some devastating. When you get to know why and understand, be grateful, act accordingly and go forward. When you don’t, let it go and go forward anyway. Life is too short to bang your head against the wall, right? Just repeat after me, “It’s all good.” :))
I hear you sister! I have always been a “need to know” type person too. But, like you, I’ve learned that it’s wise not to ponder “why” for too long (if at all), because life is short, and as you said, we can use our thoughts for more worthwhile pursuits . . . such as counting our blessings! I believe that those things in our life that cause us to question “why” (why am I sick? why didn’t I get that job? why didn’t he/she call me back? why was I misunderstood?) – those whys, are gifts to be used as reminders to stop thinking, and focus instead on being grateful. Because no matter what, everything truly is a gift! We just need to remember that, and trust in that.
It’s all good, it’s all good, it’s all good.
IT’S ALL DIVINE!
Love you, SS!