I think it is a sign of maturity when one can gracefully accept that something has not turned out the way they wanted it to. Remember as a child when you “did not get your own way”? You were told that you can’t always have it your way. Then you were expected to live with that idea. Things don’t change when we are adults. We still can’t have it our way all of the time, especially if we are sharing our life with someone else. Example, it’s Friday night. You want to go dancing but your spouse wants a quiet evening at home. One of you will win and one of you has to accept the fact that this time they won’t get to do what they wanted to do. I suppose there is a third option, you go dancing without your spouse and he stays home for a quiet evening! Is that a win-win? Maybe for some. I personally don’t think so. I would rather spend the evening with my mate, whether it was going out or staying home. But that’s just me.
I started showing my horse in dressage last year. I was in two shows. In the second show, I won two second place ribbons. That was amazing to me. It thrilled me beyond belief. Next time, I will aim for first place, I told myself. Well, that was the end of the show season so I had to wait until this year to try again. My lofty goal for this show season was to be in four shows. Not an impossible task, all things being equal. Well, at the end of March my horse went lame, we believe from kicking the walls in her stall. We are now passed mid-May and she is still lame. We had x-rays taken and thankfully there is nothing going on in her bones. The swelling has come way down but when we tried to longe her a week ago, she was still lame. Bummer. So now we wait two weeks and try again. In the meantime we have to hand walk her for twenty minutes every day and then one day apply poultice and the next day hose her leg for ten minutes with cold water. My trainer and I have followed this routine now for almost two months.
Here is my point – I will not be able to be in four shows with her this season. I am now hoping for two, which would be fine with me at this point. Realistically it may only be one, which I will gracefully accept. One is better than none, right? Only time will tell. If after this two week period she is still lame we have to call the Vet back to do an ultrasound. I am hoping that will not be necessary.
When you grow up with siblings (much like having a spouse) you certainly do not always get your way. (Insert tantrum here). I remember telling my parents when I was in elementary school, “But my teacher said we have to wear a red dress tomorrow!” Well, I did not own one and my parents would not buy me a new dress to satisfy the teacher. And besides, they were not convinced that I had heard my teacher correctly. “Maybe your teacher said to wear a red dress if you owned one,” my father offered. “No! She said we had to wear one!” Guess what? I didn’t wear one. I survived.
You don’t always get your way. Get over it. Sometimes when things go differently, they turn out better than what we had expected or wanted. Hmm. Maybe what you decided should happen was ultimately not in your best interest. What comes to mind is a relationship I was in years ago that did not work out. I beat myself up over it for months but as it turned out, it was a good thing. Time proved that he was the wrong man for me.
The things we want as children are different from what we want as adults. But the “not getting our way” part is basically the same. Gracefully accept that it was not meant to be and move on. Better things await!
Picture below is of my family in our home in Foster, Rhode Island. I’m the one looking at the camera. :))
