Isolation

It dawned on me yesterday why I was feeling particularly depressed about the current state of affairs. I feel and am isolated. I stood out front yesterday, several feet from my daughter-in-law who was sitting in her car, while we talked for an hour, catching up on things. She had stopped by to pick up a birthday present I had purchased for my grandson who recently turned 5. I know there are many mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships that are less than perfect. Some are downright awful. They are devoid of emotion at best or toxic at the worst end. Not the case with me and this particular daughter-in-law (or with my other one in California either. Just saying..).  I love her every bit as much as I do my son. Sometimes it feels like I show her the favoritism that my son deserves just because I actually bore and raised him. Nevertheless, she is a very special lady, not to mention a wonderful wife and mother to two of my precious grandchildren. You get the point. Being in her presence and not being able to hold her in my arms and kiss her cheeks  feels like hell to me. The inability to demonstrate even more love through hugging her pains me in a way that can only be described as misery through isolation.

I am a hugger. Not of everyone I meet, but when I feel the need to connect in a more intimate way with someone, I will hug them.  Did you know that when you embrace someone, oxytocin (known as the “cuddle hormone”) is released which makes one feel warm and cozy. No wonder I am feeling sad!  I thank God that I can at least hug my husband (which I am doing more often these days) and my cats. I said to my daughter-in-law yesterday, I can’t imagine what it would feel like if I lived alone and had no pets to cuddle. That would be more difficult to bear.  My brother-in-law is in the hospital in Chicago and has been for weeks. No, not the Corona Virus (he has been tested twice) but he is very seriously ill. His wife of almost fifty years cannot visit him. She is home alone with the dogs and can only speak to him over the phone a few minutes a day. That sounds a little uplifting but he is semi-conscious right now so she gets no feedback. I don’t know which is worse, talking to him and getting no response or not talking to him at all. I guess he probably hears her words of love and that is good for both of them. Another example of isolation.

Humans were not meant for isolation. From Medical News Today  – “Physical touch increases levels of dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that help regulate your mood as well as help your body relieve stress and anxiety.”  It is an important part of human connection. Right now, in this world of fear and separation, we long for human or even animal contact.

I pray daily that the state of our world becomes more normalized soon and that we are allowed out of our houses and are free to connect in more meaningful ways with our fellow humans. I pray that those who cannot work right now find financial relief to keep them afloat and that they soon get their old jobs back. I pray that every day, fewer and fewer people get sick or worse, die from this disease. I pray that the healthcare workers stay healthy and strong and find the beyond human strength and endurance to carry on. I pray for wisdom for our leaders and leaders throughout the world so they can make decisions for all of us that are based on humanitarian and practical motives rather than political gain.

I pray for you and your family, to stay healthy and safe during these crazy, fearful, unnerving times. May you find comfort in doing small, meaningful things and in helping others less fortunate.  Finally, may you find peace in prayer and the love that you experience as a result of it. God bless.