As a child I didn’t have free will. All my decisions (ones of any consequence) were made by my parents, especially my father. He was “head of household” on steroids. I soon figured out that acquiescing to the powers that be was the way to go. On the rare occasion that I tried out my own free will, I was either punished for it or simply overridden. I remember my father coming home from work one day and telling the family that we were moving to Fresno, California. “I’m not going,” I said with all the grown up determination that I could muster. “I’ll stay here!” Well, you can imagine how that went. We moved despite my protest.
I was the “good girl” and obeyed the rules of the house, even the difficult ones. I remember one night being so mad at my father that as I climbed the stairs to go to bed, when I was past his range of vision, I stuck my tongue out at him with all the anger I could spew. It felt good, especially because I knew he couldn’t see me.
As I grew into an adult, I soon realized that the choices my parents used to make for me were now mine to make. Young adults find this incredibly liberating. I can stay up as long as I want! I can watch anything on television! I can eat whenever I want and whatever I want! This is awesome! Until reality hits. Wait! You mean I have to get a job in order to eat and put a roof over my head? I have to pay my electric bill, phone bill and credit card bills by myself? That’s not fair!
God gave mankind free will so that we could choose love over hate, kindness over meanness, charity over selfishness. In His great wisdom, he knew that if we were created only to be good, without free will, we could not choose love. If there is not another option, there is no true love. And love is above everything.
But free will comes with responsibility. We must accept the consequences of the choices we make daily. Sometimes we choose poorly. Have you ever been there? I have, and once at the expense of my sanity, my nuclear family and my happiness. (See my book, “For Dear Life”) If we make a bad decision, can we choose again? Yes, most of the time. If you kill someone, obviously, that cannot be undone. But if you make a poor choice, like agreeing to do something of questionable legality or morality, you can change that decision before it’s too late.
We make numerous decisions every day. Most of them are of little consequence. Some are more substantial, like the ones that involve other people. The world won’t care if you choose to wear the red shirt instead of the white one, but if you have the opportunity to help a friend and you don’t, then your sphere of influence has grown and more people will be impacted.
Be thoughtful in the important decisions that you make. When you do the right thing over the wrong thing, you not only feel better about yourself, but you change the world, little by little, in a positive way.
God bless.