Forgiveness

Luke 6:37 – Judge not and you will not be judged; condemn not and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven.

Matthew 6:12 – And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

When I was growing up, I remember my father telling me that one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is forgiveness. I interpreted it then with its most narrow meaning. If my friend hurts me in any way, I should forgive her. But the definition, at least in the bible, is much broader.

You have heard stories of a mother or father who forgave the person who murdered their child. Our reaction upon hearing this is shock, followed by skepticism. Really? Did they really forgive him? Why?

Forgiveness does two things – it blesses the receiver but it also blesses the giver. Non-forgiveness takes up space in your soul. It festers. It grows.  It can literally make you sick. I know this to be true. I have been on the receiving end of non-forgiveness and the person who refused to forgive me was bitter and unhappy for the rest of his life. (Not just due to his non-forgiveness of me but of others as well.)

Back to the family who forgave their child’s murderer.  Did that mean that what he did was excusable? Of course not. They forgave him not for his peace of mind but for their own. It kept them from becoming bitter and full of anger for the rest of their lives. I’m not sure people understand how that works. Many want revenge. The bible teaches us that revenge is God’s territory, not ours. That can be tough when you believe you have been seriously wronged. Your righteous anger makes you want to lash out and cause pain to the person who hurt you. And if you do, does it help? Does it make you feel better?  (Some would say “Yes!”) But ultimately you will feel lousy about what happened. It doesn’t give you the peace you expected to have.

How about “I forgive you so that I can move on without having to carry this burden any longer? So I can put it behind me and be happy again. I wish you well. Here is where our paths diverge. God bless and goodby.”  (Well, maybe you can’t bring yourself to say “God bless”, but wishing them well is a good start.)

I am human. There have been times in my life when the act of revenge was tempting. I ended up doing nothing. I figured that karma would take care of them. (Now I see that karma is really God in action.)

You reap what you sow. If you go around hurting others it will eventually catch up to you. Spread love and joy instead. The rewards are greater and certainly sweeter.

Forgive those who hurt you, especially if they are sincerely asking for your forgiveness. That does not mean that you approve of what they did but that you are releasing them from their debt.

Matthew 18:21-22 – Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Big shoes to fill, but start small and work your way up.  You will live a better life, richer and filled with love.