I’m not in my right mind

Last night I took out my notebook with the intention of writing my weekly blog. It’s Friday, I thought to myself. I’m already a day late. I held the pen in my hand and waited for inspiration. And waited. Nothing came. I’m not in my right mind, I thought. Haha. That’s pretty funny. True, but funny.

I have bronchitis and a fever. Being clever and creative are not only difficult for me right now, they are downright impossible. I am thinking about the people who read my blog every week who are looking in their emails for the new one and not finding it. That bothered me. I have to write something! Maybe tomorrow. (Which is today.) So here I am, waiting for my muse. Maybe she’s on vacation. Maybe she has bronchitis and a fever.

I have written before that since retiring in 2011 I have been busier than I ever was during my career. My horse takes up most of that time. Then I have writing, friends, appointments, shopping, cleaning, etc. I don’t know where it all comes from, but my days are always full. Until I get sick. And then I have to clear my calendar, one event at a time. I have postponed a hair appointment twice and cancelled a few others. Can’t meet for lunch, can’t go to church, can’t even do my own grocery shopping. Thank you, Bill. It is beyond frustrating to just lie around all day being unproductive. Is there something I could learn from all of this? Yes – don’t get sick!

Today I feel like I might have the tiniest bit of energy, enough to write this blog anyway. And then it is back on the couch. A week from today we are flying to Portland for four days. I must be better by then. And so I eliminate anything short of life altering between now and next Saturday. That flight is booked and paid for. Can’t miss it.

What do you do when you are sick and have to put the brakes on your busy life? Do you let it frustrate you, depress you, anger you? Do you take it as a blessing, using the time to reflect, re-organize your thoughts, prioritize your life? Do you read more? Watch more television? Sleep more?

I’ve been frustrated, watched more television, slept more, slept a lot. I am trying to put myself in a positive place where I can appreciate what my body is trying to do (get well) and give it the time it needs to do so. It isn’t easy.

Being sick also means you need to depend on others, if there are others around. I had to ask my husband to take care of my horse and do the grocery shopping, both of which he did with love. I guess when you are sick you have to let go of your need to do, to be and to go. Listen to your body and get better. There will be plenty of time to do, be and go later, when you are well again. Did you hear that, Sarah?

Be well and God bless. :))

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