Down to the wire

As we move closer to selling our home, I find myself with mixed emotions.  Someone told me recently that after you fix up your house and stage it, it looks so good that you don’t want to leave! I’ve felt some of that. Our house has never looked this good; free of clutter, freshly painted and staged to perfection. Remind me again why we’re leaving? Oh yes, I remember now.

It’s hard on the brain. I walk around this beautiful home trying to comprehend that soon it will not be mine. Someone else will be bathing in my claw foot tub. Someone new will be washing dishes and looking out into the yard and my favorite tree that at sunset softly filters the last of the day’s light. A fire in the fireplace this winter won’t be warming me as I lay curled up on the couch watching an old movie.

So much has happened in this house. My youngest son got married here in 2012. The reception was out at the pool. A DJ played for people to dance in our courtyard. In 2014 Bill and I renewed our vows in front of friends and family. And then there were the many summer days at the pool with our children and grandchildren.

Oh dear, this is not a good path I’m on. I need to be looking ahead to the new adventure. Here’s to not stepping out of my comfort zone but leaping! Sprinting down the path instead of having to be dragged, kicking and screaming.

So many changes. World upside down. Developing new routines. Becoming a new me,  a more advanced form. Sarah 2.0.

This could be fun! I remember being in Oregon in May. We were in a trendy area in Southwest Portland. Walking together with my son and his family I remember thinking, I could be a different version of myself once we’re living up here. No one will ever know. There’s tremendous freedom in that. The thought actually made me excited. Maybe I’ll cut my hair short and wear hats. Maybe I’ll change the way I dress. Maybe I’ll change my name to Sadie or Madeleine. The possibilities are only limited by my imagination.

I look forward to writing up there. So much inspiration; beautiful evergreens, waterfalls, volcanoes, mountains, bridges, rivers and wildlife. My third book will be written there. I feel the seed for it already growing inside. So much lies ahead.

Somewhere up there is a woman who walks around her home, knowing that it will soon belong to another. Maybe me.

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